Negotiation Skills 101: How a Positive Attitude Enhances Negotiation Success

Has a grouchy waiter ever served you before?

You still get your food and pay your bill, but the whole experience is ruined.

But that’s the thing about human interactions, including negotiations: a person’s attitude can change things for the better or worse.

But does a positive attitude in negotiations make a difference? Research has shown that it does!

The Power of Positive Attitude in Negotiation

Great negotiation results came from positive beliefs about negotiatio, positive affect, concern for one's outcome. People judge our competence not just by the delivered outcome but by the process they perceive.

The Elfenbein Study Says These Attitudes Improve Your Negotiation Outcomes

  • Positive beliefs about negotiation
  • Positive affect (basically a generally positive outlook on life)
  • Concern for one’s outcome

In a study by Elfenbein et al1, they found that people with these three attitudes tended to do better in negotiations.

Those who had positive beliefs about negotiation and a generally positive attitude from the study appeared to be better at claiming value from the negotiation, or as the study puts it:

“This means that positive affect and positive beliefs allowed negotiators to influence their counterpart and capture a greater proportion of the pool of resources over which they negotiated.”

Negotiators who were more concerned about their outcomes tended to create more value via logrolling. The study said “This means that such concern allowed negotiators to uncover opportunities to make mutually rewarding tradeoffs, and to convince others to yield resources.”

Exploring “More for Myself” Instead of “More for Me and Less for You” Thinking

You may not always need a collaborative mindset in order to create more value at a negotiation. We simply need to focus more on growing the slice of the pie that we walk away with instead of  focusing on reducing our counterparty’s share.

At the end of the day in a negotiation, while win-win mindsets help to grow the pie, the end state still requires bargaining for how big a slice you receive. What we want to avoid is combative, win-lose bargaining that can drag out negotiations and lead to sub-optimal outcomes.

“How Would You Treat Your Mother?”

How we perceive our counterparty also really matters in negotiations. Coming back to the ‘waiter’ example we started with, a famous quote from Maya Angelou captures this sentiment well:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

In negotiations, how we treat the other party can be as important as the final outcome because we still need to reach an agreement with them in the end.

So before we walk into meet our counterparty, it helps to ask:

  • How do I want my mother to feel when she goes to a doctor?
  • How do I want to feel when I talk to a lawyer?
  • How might my counterpart have felt during the last meeting?

“Negotiation Can Be Learned”

Some people believe that negotiation is an innate talent that some people have and others don’t. But even if they believe themselves to be talented – this mindset can block growth.

Those who believe that negotiation can be learned end up improving their skills, learning principles and frameworks and generally levelling up.

The result? Some of these students end up becoming more effective negotiators than veterans with 20 years of experience! After all, 20 years of using the exact same tactics and strategies isn’t a sign of improvement at all.

Believing that negotiation is a learnable skill will result in much greater long-term negotiation success.2

Want to see this in action? Check out our story of how someone bought an Audi for the price of a Volkswagen.

Negative Attitudes to Avoid

But this post wouldn’t be complete without a list of attitudes to avoid. There are some really good resources that we can share with you in the references, but we’ve compiled a few of the main ones to avoid here:3

  • Self-limiting Expectations: When negotiators set low expectations for themselves or the negotiation, we tend to accept suboptimal deals. We may underestimate their ability to influence the other party, resulting in less assertive behavior and less favorable outcomes.
  • Ego-Driven Negotiation: Negotiators who focus too much on their own image or on “winning” the negotiation and looking tough. This attitude can prevent us from making necessary concessions, missing out on better positions for our client, or building trust with the other party.
  • Comfort Seeking: Negotiators who prioritize comfort over potentially stressful engagement often avoid difficult conversations or decisions. We might agree too quickly to avoid conflict and resist the hard work needed to explore or pursue more beneficial options.
  • Inertia, or Laziness: This involves simple laziness, a lack of preparation, or easily surrendering concessions.
  • Cavalier Attitudes to Company Money: Negotiators who treat company resources carelessly could lead to overpaying or undervaluing critical aspects of the deal.
  • Self-Absorption: Focusing too much on our needs and ignoring the other party’s interests can damage relationships and hinder collaboration. Negotiators who don’t consider the other side’s perspective may struggle to reach mutually beneficial agreements.
  • Submissiveness: On the flip side, being overly passive, submissive, want to be liked and are too afraid to speak up in negotiations can lead to missed opportunities and unfavorable deals. A balance of assertiveness and collaboration is key to achieving the best outcomes.
  • Drive: The extreme reverse of submissiveness. This could lead to negative behavior like a lack of self-control, the need to dominate, and hyper-competitiveness.

 

Just like eating healthy and training your body, let’s keep a positive mindset towards negotiation and life in general. 

Keep that flame burning and your mind open to learning more about negotiation!

In fact, why not join our online courses and live trainings to test your new-found attitudes out?

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

—

If you enjoyed this content, join our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

References:

  1. Are Some Negotiators Better Than Others? Individual Differences in Bargaining Outcomes – PMC
  2. Do Attitudes in Negotiation Influence Results? – PON
  3. Negotiation Attitudes & Behaviours – from Failure to Success

Negotiation Skills: Building Trust in Negotiations and Why It’s Important

Successful negotiations need trust. Great preparation, strategies, and tactics play a key role in negotiations, but you will not win successful outcomes without trust.

Without trust, negotiations often spiral into competitive cycles where both parties withhold information, pushing them further into a win-loss situation.

Breaking this cycle requires trust. When you create a foundation of trust, you can focus on creating value for both sides. Once the pie is as big as possible, we can return to bargaining.

Trust can similarly be built by managing communication and making the first move toward openness. Reciprocity plays a significant role here—people mirror how they are treated. If you extend trust, you are more likely to receive it in return.

The Trust Advantage: Why Trust is Important in Negotiations

Building trust opens the door to collaboration, reduces friction, and helps uncover interests and potential solutions that may not have surfaced otherwise. But remember: trust is a reciprocal process and “You have to give it to get it.”

During my courses, I often emphasize that trust is built by mirroring behaviors—setting the tone for positive interactions through your energy and approach.

This ties into the concept of mirror neurons, where people unconsciously mimic the energy and emotions they perceive. In this example where this traveler’s strong positive energy changed a ‘Debbie Downer’ to a ‘Debbie Dazzle

The lesson? If you bring trust into the room, it sets the tone for the entire negotiation.

Practical Steps to Building Trust in Negotiations

Strategies for building trust in negotiations: Research and preparation, using your network and reputation, small talk and building a relationship, emphasise common goals, active listening and being respectful, and encourage reciprocity.

1. Research and Preparation

Before you walk into a negotiation, thoroughly understand your counterpart. Who are they? What do they value? What are their needs?

While you are preparing, make educated guesses about their reserve price and your reserve price along with possible concessions you can provide them. The ideal concession is one that costs your party very little but is valuable to your counterparty.

Knowing these details in advance shows that you care about their interests, helps establish credibility from the start, and even gives you opening ammunition to build trust via concessions. We cover more about preparation, together with a checklist, here.

Example: If you’re negotiating with a company that values sustainability, highlight your shared commitment to eco-friendly practices. Showing that you’ve done your homework demonstrates respect and builds trust.

 

2. Leverage Your Network

Word of mouth is still as powerful as ever, and trust is often transferred through relationships. Use your network to find common connections that can vouch for your trustworthiness.

Mutual friends or professional contacts can build credibility and create a foundation of trust before you even enter the negotiation room.

When the opportunity to choose your own counterparty arises, you could leverage your network to recommend a trustworthy counterparty.

Want more strategies for networking? Check out this post.

Example: If you share a mutual colleague, ask them to introduce you. A recommendation from someone they trust will make them more likely to trust you.

 

3. Manage Your Reputation

Your reputation precedes you. Ensure you have a good track record, as this will influence the other party’s perception of you.

If necessary, ask for references from previous negotiations or mutual acquaintances to demonstrate your reliability and integrity.

Example: A positive reputation is essential in industries where relationships matter, like law or finance. If you’re entering a negotiation for a high-stakes deal, references can help assure the other side that you’re a reliable partner.

 

4. Engage in Small Talk and Build Relationships

Small talk has been proven to build rapport and improve negotiation outcomes.

Arriving early for a meeting allows you to engage in informal conversations, which helps create a personal connection before diving into the negotiation.

Example: Chatting about common interests, such as a shared passion for sports or hobbies, can ease tension and make the negotiation feel more human.

 

5. Emphasize Common Goals

Not all negotiations will be solely about bargaining, and there should be room for common interests in many of your negotiations.

One of the best ways to build trust is to highlight shared objectives. When both parties realize they are working toward the same goal, they are more likely to trust each other. We also cover this in our interest-based negotiation post.

Example: In a business negotiation, emphasize how both companies will benefit from a long-term partnership. Frame the conversation around how collaboration can lead to mutual success.

 

6. Active Listening and Respect

Empathy, respect, and honesty are critical components of trust-building. These are best displayed during face-to-face interactions, and there is a case for having face-to-face interactions with your counterparty both during and outside of negotiations.

During negotiations, active listening shows that you’re genuinely invested in what the other party has to say. Reflect on their concerns to demonstrate that you understand their perspective. This is also one way to show them respect.

Example: If your counterpart raises a concern about pricing, acknowledge their worry and explore solutions that could meet both your needs. Listening without interrupting also fosters an environment of respect.

 

7. Reciprocity and Unilateral Concessions

Sometimes, it pays to make the first move. Making small unilateral concessions without asking for anything in return signals trust. Once you make the first move, the other party will often feel compelled to reciprocate, opening the door to further collaboration.

Example: To start the negotiation, offer a small concession, like flexible payment terms. When labeled correctly, this can prompt the other side to make a similar move.

 

8. Label and Explain Your Concessions

Always label your concessions so the other party recognizes them. When you make a concession, explain why you’re doing so and what you hope to achieve.

Unfortunately, your counterparty is not always incentivized to acknowledge your concession. Explaining it and labeling it clearly beyond a reasonable doubt helps draw attention to your gestures, fostering a feeling of trust and reciprocity.

You can also find out more about concession strategies post.

Example: “I’m offering a 10% discount because I believe this long-term partnership will benefit us both. I hope this helps us move forward together.”

 

Cultural Considerations in Trust-Building

Different cultures approach trust and negotiation differently. In some cultures, aggressive bargaining is expected, while in others, such tactics can be seen as disrespectful. Be sure to adjust your trust-building strategies to align with cultural expectations.

Example: In Western cultures, trust might be built through transparency and directness, whereas in some Asian cultures, trust is built through patience and relationship-building over time.

 

Conclusion: Trust as the Key to Successful Negotiations

Reputation means the world to negotiators; trust is part of maintaining that reputation.

By building trust through research, small concessions, active listening, and strategic transparency, you can break out of the competitive cycle and foster a collaborative environment that leads to win-win solutions.

It helps to remember that negotiation still requires communicating with other people, and that trust is both a mindset and a strategy. Approach every negotiation with the intention of building long-term relationships, and you’ll see better outcomes for all involved.

 

By following these principles, you can make trust-building a cornerstone of your negotiation strategy, ensuring successful, sustainable agreements time and time again.

Want to see some negotiation principles in action in real life, or pick our brains in real time? Try one of our online courses or join a tailor-made live training session for your organization.

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

—

If you enjoyed this content, join our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

Further Reading:

Cognitive Biases in Negotiations: How Fairness Affects Negotiations

As you and your friend walk down the street, you spot a 10-dollar bill.

“Cool, let’s split it 50:50”

“Good idea, that sounds fair”

Now, wait just a minute…

Both parties instantly agreed that it was fair, even though neither party did anything to earn it. But why did we care if the outcome was fair or not?

As much as we’d like to think we’re rational, biases often influence our decisions, especially regarding cognitive biases in negotiations. In addition to framing and emotions, a sense of fairness is another frequently overlooked factor.

If either side feels the outcome is unfair, they will not accept it. We sometimes care more about fairness than rationality; as much as we hate to admit it, we are much less rational than we think. What makes this more complicated is that people tend to have different ideas of what is ‘fair,’ too.

How Fairness Affects Negotiations

In economics, a fairness bias prioritizes equitable or fair outcomes, even if they sometimes come at a cost to oneself.

People often reject offers that are perceived as unfair, even if it results in a loss. A study on public perceptions of fairness revealed that people consider it unfair for firms to impose losses relative to a reference point, such as the pre-existing price, wage, or rent.

For example, a study revealed that 82 percent of participants found it unfair for a hardware store to raise snow shovel prices after a storm, despite the economic rationale.

The 10-dollar example above is a variation of Thaler’s Ultimatum Game. In the game, the researchers offer people a sum of money, but both sides must agree on how to split the money, or neither side will receive anything. (Thaler, 1988).

Rationally, just accepting the offer already gives them more money than earlier. However, people preferred to receive nothing by rejecting the offer rather than accepting what they viewed as an unfair share. Offers closer to a 50:50 split were perceived as more ‘fair.’

Parties may reject offers they perceive as unfair, even if the offer would benefit them. This can lead to negotiation breakdowns or missed opportunities for agreement.

Perceptions of unfairness can stretch beyond just the outcomes on the table. If the negotiating parties have a history of conflict and perceive being treated unfairly, they may become less cooperative. This could lead to conflict and make it harder to reach a deal. This is often seen in labor disputes where employees feel they are not fairly compensated for their contributions.

A perception of fairness is also crucial to long-term relationships between parties. If one side feels treated unfairly, it can damage trust and reduce the likelihood of successful future negotiations. Conversely, perceptions of fairness can enhance trust and facilitate smoother negotiations in the future.

Types of Fairness Norms

Sometimes, the reverse is true when it comes to negotiations. Max Bazerman, Straus Professor at Harvard Business School, notes that in negotiations, parties interpret what’s fair in terms of what will benefit them the most. This includes both the counterparty and ourselves.

He noted that there are four main norms that people use when perceiving something as fair:

  1. Equality – everyone receives a similar outcome
  2. Equity – people are rewarded based on how much effort and input they put into the pie being split
  3. Need – Disregarding input, people are rewarded based on their current needs, such as family needs
  4. Status Quo – Going back to existing splits without any radical changes

Perceptions of fairness - your counterparty will reject any offer they perceive as unfair. Different people have different perceptions of what's fair based on which gets them the biggest gain

Handling Fairness in Negotiations

We must appear fair during negotiations without getting too caught up in being fair ourselves. In the meantime, we also need to see if our perception of fairness is self-serving. Being aware of our own cognitive biases in a negotiation is the first step to overcoming them.

Fairness can be used to signal their interests and why they are gunning for their desired outcomes. With the various fairness norms available to us, we can return to focusing on interests rather than positions and use what our counterparty perceives as ‘fair’ as a signal for what is important to them.

We can try to build an objective standard of fairness for the negotiation that both sides can agree on, and frame offers around that. While working on that standard, we can also frame our offers and concessions around their perception of fairness to keep the negotiations going.

 

Want to hear more about the cognitive biases we experience during negotiations first-hand?

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

Happy Negotiating!

Claudia Winkler

If you enjoyed this content, join our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

References:

  1. Kahneman, D., Knetsch, J. L., & Thaler, R. (1986). Fairness as a Constraint on Profit Seeking: Entitlements in the Market. The American Economic Review, 76(4), 728–741. http://www.jstor.org/stable/1806070 
  2. Kahneman, D., Knetsch, J. L., & Thaler, R. (1986). Fairness as a Constraint on Profit Seeking: Entitlements in the Market. The American Economic Review, 76(4), 728–741. http://www.jstor.org/stable/1806070 
  3. Anomalies: The Ultimatum Game – American Economic Association 
  4. When Employees Think the Boss Is Unfair, They’re More Likely to Disengage and Leave 
  5. Nancy A. Welsh and Nancy Welsh, Fairness: Perceptions of Fairness in Negotiation, 87 Marq. L. Rev. (2004). 
  6. Fairness in Negotiation – Program On Negotiation Harvard

Negotiation for Lawyers 101: Prospect Theory and Framing

Different people holding up a frame to represent Prospect Theory in Negotiations. How you frame information in negotiations can greatly affect outcomes

The comedian Don Mcmillan had a bit where presented some statistics on weddings.

Don McMillan frames marriage statistics in a hilarious way

You can watch the clip here.

“44% of marriages end in divorce.”

That means

“56% of marriages end in death”

“Take your choice, it’s one of those two! I’m not saying that I’m for divorce, it’s just that it’s better than the alternative.”

Well now. When he frames it that way, it’s not hard to see that as a possible conclusion. 

Prospect Theory

Now let’s take a look at a more serious example.

Imagine you’re faced with two programs to save lives:

  • Program A: Guarantees saving 200 people.
  • Program B: Has a 1/3 chance of saving 600 people and a 2/3 chance of saving none.

Did you choose the first option?

The second option creates the possibility that nobody can be saved, while the first option guarantees an outcome. Yet, both programs have outcomes equating to 200 lives saved.

Illustration of Tversky and Kahneman's Prospect Theory. Illustrating the Certainty Effect, Loss Aversion and Isolation Effects

Despite the equal outcomes, most people choose Program A to avoid risk when framed with the possibility of losing something. This again demonstrates how framing the same outcome can lead to different decisions.

This scenario was used in a famous experiment by Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. We’ve included the link to their study at the end of the article.1

Effects and Outcomes of Gain and Loss Framing

According to Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky’s Prospect Theory, the way choices are framed affects decision-making.

The certainty effect happens when people prefer guaranteed outcomes compared to probable outcomes. This leads to people avoiding risk when there is one of their options has guaranteed results. The reverse is also true, where they want to avoid guaranteed losses and pick probable gains.

There’s also loss aversion at play here. The pain we feel from losses tends to be felt more than the joy from gains, so people try to avoid losses whenever they can.

Infographic – example of gain and loss framing

For example, instead of saying, “If you don’t accept, you’ll lose $2 a day,” frame it as, “Accepting this ensures you gain $2 a day.”

The isolation effect explains what we saw above, where two identical outcomes have different routes to attainment. Depending on how the options are framed, people are likely to cancel out similar-looking information to shortcut their thinking, arriving at varied conclusions.

How Does The Framing Effect Apply to Negotiation?

The framing effect will apply throughout the negotiation process, especially for concessions and offers.

Offers that are loss-framed will make people take more risks. We’re naturally loss-averse- When we’re afraid of losing something, we’re more likely to get up and do something about it. Conversely, offers with a gain or positive frame will make people take fewer risks.

This doesn’t just apply to final offers, but is key to giving the other side a ‘sense of winning’. Negotiations involve a series of offers and concessions and also the journey to get there.

You can frame some of your concessions with a gain frame that you’ve made them work for to make them feel like they’ve won something. To make this really effective, combine the framing of your offers and concessions based on what their interests are instead of their positions.

After all, even a fair, win-win offer won’t be accepted if the counterparty doesn’t feel satisfied with it.

 

Prospect theory is just one of the many psychological biases we can encounter during negotiations. Stay tuned, as we’ll be covering more of these in future posts.

At Negotiation Academy, we’re on a mission to make negotiation skills second nature to everyone because we believe that negotiation is one of the most influential skills for your career, life and business.

If you’d like to learn more about cognitive biases in negotiation or more about general negotiation skills, join our live sessions or online courses at Negotiation Academy. Start improving your negotiation skills today!

 

References:

  1. The Framing of Decisions and the Psychology of Choice Amos Tversky; Daniel Kahneman Science, New Series, Vol. 211, No. 4481. (Ja 30, 1981), pp. 453-458.

Negotiation Skills 101: Interest-based Negotiations – Start With Why

Man thinking about interests in a negotiation - thinking about why his counterparty wants what they want

Picture a potential client walking through the door seeking your legal services to sue one of his rivals.

After he explains his case to you, you inform him that settling out of court makes more sense as fighting the case in court will take too long and be too expensive. He responds with this cliché:

“It’s not about the money; it’s about sending a message.”

What’s his desired position? To sue his opponent.

What is his interest here? Revenge.

Tough.

As negotiators, knowing your client’s interests and positions is key to preparing for any successful negotiation.

Starting Negotiations With Why:
How Finding Interests in Negotiation Creates Value

Finding out each other’s interests can reveal more value (or money) for both parties.

You might know this age-old example from Getting to Yes: Two sisters negotiate for the same orange and eventually agree to split the orange in half. This looks like a fair outcome, but if they asked each other what they wanted the orange for, both could have gotten more of what they needed.

A position refers to “What you want.” In this case, each sister wanted the whole orange.

Interests refer to “Why you want it.” In this example, one sister wanted to use the peel for a recipe while the other wanted to make orange juice. Had they known why each wanted the orange, one would have the whole peel and the other would have the whole orange’s worth of juice.

Iceberg illustrating that positions are the tip of the iceberg. Interests are always under the surface and require some exploration. The result is being able to create value for both sides expanding the pie for all

If negotiators only focus on positions, there’s a tendency to slip into a competitive mindset. That causes us to dig in and only focus on trying to get a larger slice of the pie. Position-focused negotiation could also lead to underlying interests not being fulfilled, unsatisfactory outcomes for both parties and possibly a breakdown in the relationship.

Interests tend to be easier to reconcile than positions, and focusing on interests provides more room to find win-win solutions. By uncovering what each party needs, like in the orange example, there could be ways to satisfy both parties’ true needs and create more value for both sides.

Finding Your Client’s Interest

When preparing for a negotiation, your clients will give you their position, but it’s up to you to figure out their interests. Without understanding their interests, you could face situations where getting them their desired position still leaves them unsatisfied if their true interests are still unmet.

While preparing for your negotiation, have a meeting with your key stakeholders to find out their positions, priorities,  and requirements. During this discussion, focus on their motivations by asking them to explain the underlying needs or benefits of their positions.

This process could take some time, and regular check-ins throughout the negotiation process could help you better understand what your side is looking for.

Here are some questions, known as chunking questions, you can ask:

  • “If you had [what you want], what would that do for you/your business?”
  • “Can you tell me more about what we are hoping to achieve by [What they asked you for]” ?”
  • “How is [what you want] helping you make things work/right?”

Finding Your Negotiation Counterparty’s Interest

There are 2 main types of negotiation: competitive negotiation and collaborative negotiation.

In a competitive negotiation, what matters is ‘more for me, less for you.’

But when we start with competitive negotiation right out the gate, we refuse to share or learn information. If our counterparty reciprocates competitively, you’ll end with a zero-sum game situation.

People tend to resist answering questions during negotiations if they view negotiation as a competition. When they think this way, they won’t answer questions for fear of being taken advantage of or giving too much away.

Collaborative negotiation, on the other hand, is about growing value together, so the focus is not on ‘less for you’ but ‘more for myself’ by making the pie bigger.

Moving towards collaborative negotiations and away from competitive negotiations requires us to share information strategically and get them to reciprocate. Here are some tips to do that:

Build trust first

If our counterparty doesn’t trust us, they’ll play their cards close to their chest. Reciprocity is key, and we won’t learn anything from them if we don’t share some information with them first.

To know what to share, we must shift our mindsets away from “share as little as possible” to “withhold only what’s necessary.”

Prepare and take small steps:

Preparation lets us know what information is key to our position and which ones we can share more freely. Knowing this prevents us from defaulting to competitive negotiation which could kill any value creation opportunities.

When negotiating with your counterparty, gradually build up sharing and be careful with what you’re giving away, especially if your counterparty is a competitor.

We’ll still need to focus on the outcomes of our decisions, so don’t give anything away without expecting anything in return.

Ask questions carefully:

Once you’ve gained their trust, you can then ask probing questions to uncover their interests. For example, if they state their position you can ask these questions to lead them towards discussing interests instead:

  • “If you had what it is you want, how would that help you?”
  • “How is that useful to you?”

You can also use open questions once you’ve built sufficient trust with them to uncover their interests:

  • “What do you need to achieve?”
  • “What is most important to you?”
  • “What would it take for this to work for both of us?”

Here are other probing questions that you can also try:

Nudging probes: Saying things like “I see,” and “What happened after that?” can get people to open up and answer more thoroughly if they are initially resisting questions

Silence probe: Sometimes, choosing not to speak but using body language, like nodding, to show that you’re still listening could encourage them to speak more. They could end up giving you valuable information this way.

Information probe: This is a follow-up question that asks for more information regarding a response that seems to be incomplete. You can follow up some of their responses by asking “When you say you need more X, could you be more specific?”

Summary probe: This involves summarizing your counterpart’s responses so far. This can show them that you’ve been paying attention and could get them to elaborate further on what they’ve already shared.

Clearinghouse probe: This is a blanket question to let the counterparty provide more information about given issues. One example is “Is there anything else that we still need to cover about this deal?”

 

Understanding interests can transform negotiations, making outcomes more satisfactory for all parties involved.

However, there is a fine line to walk when using interest-based negotiation. We need to be strategic when handling both our clients and the counterparty so that we don’t slip into competitive bargaining too quickly or get taken advantage of during negotiations.

Want to learn more about using interests strategically or about negotiation? Join our live sessions or online courses at Negotiation Academy. Start improving your negotiation skills today!

Also, if you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

At Negotiation Academy, we’re on a mission to make negotiation skills second nature to everyone because we believe that negotiation is one of the most influential skills for your career, life, and business. 

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Negotiating for your Career – How to share your #IamRemarkable

My top 10 tips of how to shout your success over the roofs (without blowing the shingles off :D)

Last week, I went to my first #IAmRemarkable event. What a great initiative, started by a lady at Google in 2016 to empower people to celebrate their achievements and improve their self-promotion skills.

I went because as a Negotiation Trainer, one part of my work with large firms are sessions we call ‘Negotiating for your career’ ‘Beyond the billable hour’, ‘Make some noise’ or similar. In these sessions we talk about the fact that your amazing work does not speak for itself and billable hours are not enough to make it to the next level. “

At the #IamRemarkable workshop I participated in this time myself, it was all about becoming aware of what makes you, well, remarkable. You sit down in a group with a blank piece of paper and start writing “I am remarkable because…” Then you read it out loud.

For many people, this is eye-opening because we don’t usually think along these lines, we are afraid to come across as braggy, we are afraid of criticism, we feel it is not worth speaking about, or we often don’t even realize that “this small thing” is actually quite a big achievement.

Accomplishments do not speak for themselves!

As everyone went to write down their achievements and what makes them remarkable, my brain was already racing to think about the next logical step. How do you communicate all of it in a business context, bringing forward your best self in an authentic, enthusiastic and comfortable way?

Because in most business contexts you will not read out your “I am Remarkable” worksheet to your benevolent audience who rewards you with applause for your bravery.

Where are the right words when you need them?

In my experience, an equally big part of the challenge, beyond knowing what makes you stand out, is knowing just how to put it, i.e. the framing, language, context, situation and finesse of communicating your awesomeness.

Language is powerful and I often feel if only we had a better idea of how to communicate our value and accomplishments it would be much easier for people to shine an adequate light on their contributions and achievements to help them move ahead in their careers.

I would lie if I said that I find this easy myself. Like most of us, I too have been conditioned into wanting to appear modest. And the (gender) backlashes of coming across as too strong are real, so it is a very fine line to walk. But over the past 10 years, I have learned quite a few “tricks” of what works.

Here are my top 10 tips on what to share (and how)

1. Share achievements with real emotion

We all see it on LinkedIn every day: “I am elated about so and so award ..”, “Excited to share that..”, “Honored and humbled to have been selected for..”. Your friends might click “like”, but let’s be honest: Everyone is bored with these announcements or borderline annoyed. And most of us feel uncomfortable posting them but feel like we have to.

A better way: Work hard to express how it actually made you feel, or what it took to get there. Tell a story or share an obstacle that you had to overcome. Bring out as much authentic emotion as you can and people will be more likely to see this as an interesting post and you as a unique human being (see an example here about how I shared my “Top 10 L&D Providers APAC” award).

2. Celebrate Milestones

10 years, 15k followers, bar exam – all a huge deal in your life! People like celebrating with you if you share authentically. But again, authenticity is key. “It’s not bragging if it’s true” is one thing I learned at #IamRemarkable. Here is my best attempt at being my most authentic self when celebrating 15k followers in this post.

It may not behove in your position, role or industry to talk about your pet unicorn, your love for Schnitzel and how you kill off your houseplant (or you don’t care, like me). But I challenge you to push yourself to wherever your outer comfort and appropriateness level (and 10% beyond) in what makes you uniquely you when it’s time to celebrate. It gives people something to connect with you on a personal level and all the more reason to cheer you on.

3. Share knowledge

Your learnings are valuable to others and sharing it positions you as an expert without you having to shout “Look at me, I am an Expert”. This recent huge deal that you did, what did you learn from it about how to manage complex deal structures or a multitude of stakeholders? That ICO that you lead, what surprised you or what should others be aware of? That dispute that you settled, what did you learn that made your negotiations more successful?

Reflect on your work and share your learnings! And when you feel like “What can I even add, I am still junior/inexperienced compared to others” remember that there will always be someone more experienced than you, but there is also always someone less experienced than you and as long as you are even one step ahead of them, they can learn from you. And that is enough!

Look no further than this very blog post that you are reading here to see what I mean. I am no marketing expert. But I write down for you what I have taken from this workshop and the experience I have collated in my 10+ years of having to promote myself as an entrepreneur and working with professionals who have to do the same.

4. Share your take on something

A new law, judgement or industry development. Once you have become comfortable with posting things, share what your take is on those and what you think it will mean for your clients or what they need to be aware of. Just sharing an article or some news without your personal views has little value. Sharing with meaning for them will position you as an expert and give you 10x the effects of that post.

5. Tell stories

Our brains love stories. Tell a story of how your journey is going, where you have come from, what your challenges were, and what you are proud of. This could be about yourself, your team, a new initiative you have started, a non-for-profit you support, etc. You don’t do this for yourself. Stories inspire others! Even a success moment can be an unexpected story (I just saw this creative one here for being appointed to King’s Counsel).

6. Share a passion

Involved in D&I, Legal Tech, ADR? Passionate about negotiation skills, process management or AI? Find a passion and talk about it. Passion ignites passion and you will find your tribe of people. Look for up-and-coming topics in your field and focus on niche areas (especially if you find it hard to post passionate stuff about M&A, Litigation or whatever your core area of expertise).

7. Include clever language and facts about your experience

Get creative at weaving your experience and achievements into normal conversations, posts, your LinkedIn bio etc. I find a “matter of fact” language or giving context to a situation easiest: E.g. “As a lawyer who works with clients on 5 continents.. my view is..”, “Based on my background as..” “Based on my experience with more than 20 of these cases ..”

8. Use numbers

Like images, numbers speak volumes. Rather than “10 years of deal-making experience” (this is already good) you could go one step further and count the number of deals you have done. “Done 150 M&A deals“, Helped 300 companies go public”, “Enabled the largest ICO in the history of our country with 200 Mio in Investment”, “Helped negotiate deals of $50 million plus total value”, “Helped restructure more than a dozen Fortune 500 companies”, “Received the Legal Innovators Award 3 times in 5 years”.

Go dig for the metrics so people get a chance to understand better what you do and what you are really good at. It took me 2 days to collect and calculate how many participants have ever been in my in-person and online trainings across various countries and online platforms.

But here is my new headline:

“I help Tier 1 lawyers negotiate, communicate and network for their best results. Consultant, Trainer, Speaker since 2014. Trained 10k+ professionals live in 30 countries and 15k+ online in 126 countries.”

And don’t you think it was totally worth it to help people understand better what I do and why I’ve become so experienced and specialized in it? (Please say “yes“, those 2 days will never come back :D:D)

9. Use social proof (collect accolades)

Nothing persuades like other people’s recommendations. In fact, what do most of us do when we look for a doctor, an accountant, or in our case, a lawyer? Ask family, colleagues, friends.

15 Awards, a PhD and 5 papers may not be as persuasive as one strong personal recommendation.

“Most dedicated lawyer I’ve ever hired!!“

Now that has a ring to it 🙂

So when clients are raving about your work, ask them if they would be okay to put it into your LinkedIn (there is a recommendation section) or write it down in an email (or you can summarize what they said and send it back to them, thanking them for the compliment). Use these gems in your website bio, LinkedIn “about section”, annual review, promotion discussion, brochure, etc.

10. Talk about the benefit of your greatness to THEM

Remember: No one cares about what you can do. Everyone cares about what you can do for them. Frame your messaging accordingly!

“My 15 years of expertise in … allow me to immediately grasp my client’s challenges when it comes to..”,  “My experience with over 100 high steak real estate negotiations allows me to advise clients on the best strategy that does not only protect them from the risks of .. but also give them leverage in…”

Time to get to work!

One immediate way for you to start putting these into practice is to look through your LinkedIn profile.

–          What is your “Subtitle”. Are you “*Lawyer* at Firm”( yaaawn!) or a “Problem-Solving Advocate for Complex Disputes” (ohoo!)

–          What does your “About” section say (Do you even have one?)? Is it written in a personable, first-person language that captures who you are and what you do? Does it tell the reader how you can support them and how you are different from others?

–          Scroll further:  What is in the section that talks about your current job? Have you maximized that space to share what your value add is based on your experience and achievements?

–          Scrolling on:    What about Licenses, Publications, Awards, Recommendations, and Projects (just saw a great example here of how to mention projects as a lawyer). If you don’t have these sections in your LinkedIn go to “add profile section” at the top of your profile. All these sections are there for you to fill with clever language and subtle brags.

Once you are done with LinkedIn: What about the bio on your company website? Short bios you use for conferences or publications?

Two Last Tips

  1. Set aside an hour in your calendar right now to go and rework these to help you start thinking about how to better express your achievements, capabilities and what they can do for your career, client or promotion. We all know if it’s not in your calendar it’s not happening.
  2. Then copy this post and come back to the list later and see what posts and blogs you could write as you start your #IamRemarkable journey and Negotiate for your career by becoming more conscious of how you communicate your achievements.

If you need, print out your new mantra or stick it to your screen with a post it:

“Accomplishments do not speak for themselves.”

To your success! And I hope you share this post with everyone around you who also struggles to make their achievements noticed!

Dr. Claudia

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
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Leveraging Negotiation in Legal Practice: An interview with BGPartners CEO Elena Mégevand-Valli

I recently spoke to Elena Mégevand-Valli, partner and CEO at BGPartner | Attorneys-at-law, a Swiss boutique business law firm that has put Negotiation front and center in its philosophy and identity. In this week’s ‘Negotiation Nugget’ she shares how their firm has embraced Negotiation as a way of thinking, how it all got started and what she thinks it means for the future of the business. Enjoy!

—

C: Great to reconnect, Elena! Your firm’s pretty unique “Mastering Law and Negotiation” slogan caught my eye. Tell me more about it!

E: Most lawyers negotiate all the time, yet negotiation isn’t usually emphasized in legal education. We recognized its added value and integrated it into the DNA of our firm. Negotiation is not just a skill; it’s a mindset and a strategic approach that permeates every aspect of our practice. By highlighting negotiation alongside legal expertise, we aim to provide comprehensive and effective solutions to our clients’ needs.

C: I love this approach! Why do you think most firms don’t place as big an emphasis on negotiation?

E: I’m not entirely sure. Some might believe they’re already proficient negotiators, while others may underestimate the importance or think there’s nothing new to learn. Additionally, legal education traditionally focuses heavily on substantive legal knowledge, leaving little room for negotiation training. However, negotiation is a dynamic skill that requires continuous development and refinement. It’s about understanding human behavior, psychology, and communication, all of which are vital in achieving favorable outcomes for our clients.

C: How did the focus on negotiation start at your firm?

E: Oliver Gnehm, our chairman and I invested significant time in our own negotiation training and realized its power. We then developed a concept and made a concerted effort to roll it out firm-wide. We conducted workshops, seminars, and provided resources to ensure that every member of our team understands the importance, principles and techniques of negotiation. It wasn’t just about teaching negotiation as a skill but embedding it into our firm’s culture and ethos.

C: What does the training for lawyers look like at your firm?

E: As a small firm, we ensure everyone speaks the same language and shares our values. We offer both internal and external training, incorporating concepts from Harvard, behavioural theory and modern conflict management. Our training isn’t just about teaching negotiation tactics; it’s about fostering a deeper understanding of negotiation as a strategic tool. We delve into topics such as effective communication, building rapport, managing emotions, and creative problem-solving.

C: How does this focus on negotiation impact your daily work with clients?

E: When clients come to us, we approach their cases with a negotiator’s mindset. We delve into their underlying interests, not just their rights. We provide strategic alternatives and guide them through a process that ensures they achieve their best outcomes. For example, in a recent case involving a contract dispute, instead of solely focusing on legal arguments, we explored potential negotiation strategies to resolve the issue amicably and efficiently. By considering the broader context and the client’s objectives, we were able to reach a favourable resolution that not only protected their legal rights but also preserved the relationship with the counterparty and created additional value for both sides.

C: You’d think all firms would adopt this approach, right?

E:You’d think so! However, clients often tell us that while other firms provide legal assessments, they lack strategic guidance.

C: How do you ensure your teams keep developing their negotiation skills?

E:We work in small teams and utilize checklists. We have regular update calls with case reports discussing lessons learned in high-stakes negotiation, and our team members use each other as sparring partners to prepare for negotiation and ask each other for advice. Every few weeks, we focus on a negotiation challenge, with one member leading the discussion. Additionally, we encourage our team members to attend external training programs, participate in workshops, and engage in peer-to-peer learning opportunities.

C: Does this focus on negotiation help attract clients to your firm?

E: We usually don’t specifically ask new clients why they choose us, but we do attract clients interested in our negotiation skills. They are sometimes surprised that we put so much emphasis on this topic next to our legal excellence, but we regularly receive very positive feedback. Our clients appreciate more and more the value we create when we advise them on upcoming negotiations or negotiate on their behalf. So, it seems to be a step in the right direction.

C: Can you provide an example of how this approach benefits clients?

E:Certainly. We recently worked with a large construction company that had consulted three other firms. While the others assessed their legal rights, the client wanted concrete recommendations on what to do next. We combined legal analysis with an understanding of the company’s goals and recommended a strategic negotiation approach. Instead of getting bogged down in contract interpretation, we focused on communication and pragmatic negotiation steps, which ultimately led to a more favorable outcome for the client.

C: Thank you, Elena. It’s been great speaking with you! Keep up the pioneering work!

E: Great catching up, Claudia. You too! 🙂

PS. If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

From AVERAGE to LEVERAGE. Closing the expectation gap of legal negotiation skills.

Negation-savvy lawyers are changing the dynamic of the legal profession.

Unfortunately, they are still the exception.

There. I said it. Most lawyers are pretty average when it comes to negotiation skills. How do I know? I have seen more than 10,000 lawyers negotiate over the past 10+ years. And thank god, most of them were mock negotiations in a training setting.

Feel free to go hate me. Or let me back up and explain. And then tell you how you can use this to your advantageand swim in the top 10% pretty quickly!

 

I have been part of the legal fraternity for 25+ years and I can confidently say that we are one of the most specialized subject matter experts there are. Studious, hard-working, always well-informed.

But there is one thing most of us are not: natural negotiators.

 

The Expectation Gap

Here is the irony: To the public, there is the perception (and expectation!) that lawyers must be very skilled negotiators because of the sheer pervasiveness of negotiation skills in our work. And they wouldn’t be wrong in expecting this. Negotiating a deal, a contract, a settlement, or persuading a judge or a client – almost all our work involves negotiation.

The reality often falls short. While we go through years and years of law school, bar exams and practical legal training (more than 10 years in some countries!) there is hardly any training on negotiation skills, techniques and frameworks.

 

The uncomfortable truth: Without training, lawyers are no better than others in negotiating! We are not born with some magical talent.

 

And even more uncomfortable: Most enter the legal profession having had NO training whatsoever.

This “oversight” (trying not to cringe at this understatement of the year) leaves a conspicuous gap between the expectations placed upon lawyers and their actual proficiency in negotiation.

The Client’s Reaction

The consequences of this gap are profound. Lawyers have a bad reputation among business people. I hear it time and again: “We try to keep the lawyers out of the negotiation; they screw everything up.“

   Poster on the wall of one of the firms I work with.

This might be a particularly harsh statement. When asked about what this means, clients will usually talk about a lack of flexibility, a lack of understanding of the business, too much focus on the law, too much focus on rights rather than results, and good old CYA (cover your ass) approach rather than interest-focused creativity.

 

The problem: A focus on rights rather than results.

Experience Doesn’t equate to Expertise

Okay, this was very Austrian-direct-no-fluff-tough-love.

Have I offended you or are you reading on?

Okay good

Because from here there is about a 50/50 split. Some lawyers admit that they would love to be much better trained when it comes to negotiation skills. And then there is team “But I have 10/20/30 years of experience!!“

The problem: Clients want to hire neither.

Here is why: Even 20 years of negotiation experience that has gone without training and feedback can be as good as that special tomato sauce that you started to make for your pasta when you were a law school student. By now you have done it all your life. But you still wouldn’t go on Master Chef with it, would you? Or the many hours you spent on a soccer field when you were younger. Why are you not playing for Barca yet?

Experience is not Expertise.

So basically, those frequently cited “20 years of negotiation experience” often turn out to be 1 year of experience, multiplied by 20, when you put people in a real-life negotiation scenario and let a professional assess their actual level of proficiency in negotiation.

Why does that happen?

Not only do many negotiators start building their experience on a wrong/limited approach as positional bargainers who have never learned to strike value-add deals, but also do their patterns perpetuate over time. Whether that is a positional approach, an inability to adapt to the counterparty, a lack of asking the right questions, a lack of preparation, or a lack of creativity, old habits die hard without training and feedback.

Also, without outside input, pro tools like the way to structure a negotiation process, the way to frame proposals, work on options with the other side, analyse and boost your negotiation strength, anchor the other side, create value through trades, de-escalation techniques, game theory and decision science never gets built into a negotiators’ toolbox, missing tremendous value there too.

All the above are reasons why studies show that trained negotiators outperform experienced negotiators.

 

Enter the “Legotiator”

Legal Negotiators, or Legotiators, as I like to call them (Oxford, can we register that? :D), will shift the dynamic of the future.

  • Saving companies billions in settling disputes that seem intractable.
  • Concluding creative deals that help add value on both sides.
  • Negotiating contracts that not only save the drafter’s and clients’ back side but optimize for future business opportunities and value.

The leverage that negotiation-savvy lawyers have is limitless.

 

Get ahead of the curve!

And firms have started to notice: Big corporates like Deutsche Bank, Amazon or Google are establishing entire Negotiation Departments (see my interview with VP Deal Expert at Deutsche Bank here). Boutique Law Firms are gaining leverage and setting themselves apart as negotiation experts (watch this space for an interview with one small giant in Switzerland).

10 years ago, I switched my entire career because I was convinced that negotiation is the skill of the future for lawyers. I have never looked back.

My expertise today allows me to turn around the worst situations and create value where others see nothing but thin air.

And I am of course happy to do this for you – in fact, it is my business model 😀

But you have read until here, so I consider you a friend. And as a friend you come before my business model and I would advise you this: Get on the Legotiator bandwagon yourself!

Don’t walk, run! Start getting your hands on negotiation expertise as fast as you can! Because expertise doesn’t build overnight. It won’t take another 10 years until this shift has also arrived in your legal practice. Those who start today will be ahead of those who will realize once AI has taken over a lot of our mental work. Where are you then?

In Hockey, they say you need to “skate to where the puck is going, not where it is“.

I am telling you where the puck is going. The question is where are you?

Yours,

Claudia

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
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Deutsche Bank Office for Negotiation: An interview with Felix Miller, VP Deal Expert

Claudia: Felix, great to see you, I am excited to sit down with a fellow negotiation professional and share experiences(1)!

Felix: Same here, always a treat to see you!

Claudia: You are VP Deal Expert and one of the co-founders of Deutsche Bank’s Office for Negotiation. I love this because it is so unique to have a dedicated negotiation department in a company like this, and it really shows the immense leverage negotiation skills can give. Can you tell me a bit more about how this department came about and what you do?

Felix: For decades, most people have perceived negotiation as something we only need at a big conference table or in sales or procurement. However, experience and research clearly show that negotiation is one of the most powerful and omnipresent skills we need to use in our daily lives and business dealings. Our Office for Negotiation is a central one-stop-shop offering negotiation excellence as a service throughout the bank.

Claudia: “Negotiation as a Service“, I love that description because it shows the time you free up on other people’s plates and the specialization, expertise and value you can bring to the table as the expert who does JUST THIS.

Speaking about value, I love the motto you have, “Going Northeast”. Where does it come from?

Felix: The northeast direction in our logo’s design stands for the bank’s vision of moving forward and achieving robust (the square around the line) success in the global financial landscape. In negotiation, moving ‘northeast’ stands for achieving “win-win” results. I.e. a value-add result where both sides maximize their outcome in a way that no party could have gotten more without taking some from the other and both sides meet or exceed all their interests.

Claudia: The Pareto-optimal negotiation result! With negotiation being such a key future skill, very practically speaking, what impact do you see these skills having in a big business environment like Deutsche?

Felix: Many people I met and worked with in a variety of contexts next to banking such as Startups, NGOs & community leaders perceive negotiation as bargaining or splitting value. Few initially see it as a skill of leadership, and potentially THE skill that allows us to have other people say ‘yes’ to us whenever we need them to do so. If we can lead another party from ‘no’ to ‘yes’ – this is leadership first and foremost. And to lead others, we need to learn to lead ourselves, too.

Negotiation skills help you in areas you would not expect. How do I unite my deal team & internal stakeholders behind a shared vision, define rules of collaboration and engagement, and make sure everyone contributes in the best possible way? How do I create substantially enough value to be distributed amongst deal parties so their incentive to say yes to us surpasses transaction costs to win their individual buy-ins? How do I deal with emotions, mine & others? How do I employ the power of process and relationship management while optimising my substantial outcome in a wise and sustainable way?

Making negotiation a central skill of our lives allows us to improve our leadership skills, helps us get more in life and most importantly, allows us to resolve conflicts together – no matter the subject. So the impact on the business is not only financial but can also be seen on a very human and personal level.

Claudia: Oh, I agree! There is so much more than meets the eye when it comes to great negotiators. So that is one advantage your role has over mine. As an outside trainer, consultant or shadow negotiator I help create value and strategy, but as an in-house function, you can create a lasting impact and change on the people themselves. I envy that (even though you are taking my job :D)

Felix: The pie is probably way larger than the sum of its perceived parts! 🙂

Claudia: For sure! I know you do internal consulting, but also training. What are some things that you notice people find easier after having come through your training?

Felix: Most describe a mindset shift away from “winning” (which is a highly abstract concept unless we define what it means for us) towards collaborative problem-solving; the stage in which the magic happens when we start creating trust, value & long-lasting relationships.

Claudia: In a nutshell, what are some of the business benefits that the increased negotiation capacity of individuals and an in-house team can bring?

Felix: Less transaction cost, less intra-team conflict, higher substantial outcomes, more trust and more overall collaboration both internally & externally.

Claudia: What have you personally found most enjoyable or challenging?

Felix: Being an intrapreneur is different from my former experiences as an entrepreneur but also very exciting. I enjoy working with global teams and being exposed to so many views & cultures daily while having the chance to build & work in one of Germany’s most iconic companies. Also, the size and complexity of deals here are quite high, which is a valuable and motivating experience.

Claudia: Where do you personally benefit most from the skills you are teaching?

Felix: I recently read that the human brain learns best when we explain or teach to others. So every time I get to teach our colleagues, I am constantly learning more myself, which is another nice win-win outcome as well.

Claudia: I feel the same! Thanks for taking the time Felix and I hope, I never see you on the other side of a deal! 😉

Felix: Haha same, but if so, I am sure we would “Go Northeast” together!

 

(1) Views expressed are purely personal and do not represent Deutsche Bank.

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Buying an Audi for the price of a Volkswagen

Or how to Make Bargaining a Gift for Both

In the world of negotiations, there’s a fine art to getting what you want without leaving the other party feeling like they’ve been shortchanged. A few years ago, my friend Dana demonstrated this artistry when he managed to snag an Audi A4 for the price of a Volkswagen Golf.

You heard that right – an A4 for the price of a Golf!

How did she do it? Let’s dive into the story and extract some valuable lessons in negotiation along the way.

Step 1: Research and Preparation

Dana didn’t walk into the dealership blindfolded. She did her homework. She knew the dealer price, wholesale price, current promotions, models that were on the way out and the typical discounts Audi dealers were willing to offer.

Step 2: Clarity of Intent

Dana went into negotiations with a clear idea of what she wanted – that Audi A4 at a specific price. Having a precise target in mind helped her steer the negotiations towards her desired outcome.

Step 3: Patience

Negotiations can be a waiting game. Dana spent multiple weeks in negotiations, showing no signs of impatience or desperation. She understood that rushing could sabotage her chances of getting the deal she wanted.

Step 4: Express Interest

Throughout the negotiation process, Dana consistently expressed her interest in the car at the desired price. This signaled to the dealer that she was serious about the purchase. This may seem counterintuitive at first, but showing commitment can actually work better than a cold “Oh, I don’t really want it” approach if you want the other side to work with you.

Step 5: Collaboration

Instead of viewing the negotiation as a battle, Dana collaborated with the salesperson. Together, they explored various avenues for discounts – from manufacturer incentives to trade-in deals, prolonged warranty, free tires and seasonal promotions.

Step 6: Negotiation Power

Besides the Information she had collected and the relationship she had built, Dana also created leverage in numbers by timing her purchase with two other friends. Presenting the potential of selling three cars instead of one created hug purchasing power on her side, and an equally huge incentive on the car dealer’s side to get the deal.

Step 7: Relationship Building

Dana leveraged her existing relationship with the dealership. Having purchased her previous car there, she highlighted her loyalty and hinted at potential future business.

Step 8: Win-Win

Ultimately, Dana achieved a win-win scenario. While she walked away with an Audi A4 for the price of a Volkswagen Golf, the car dealer also benefited. Selling three cars in one go significantly boosted the salesperson’s commission (Dana encouraged him to negotiate his commission with his boss, and he got an increase to almost double his normal commission too!).

In essence, bargaining isn’t just about driving a hard bargain; it’s about finding creative solutions that satisfy both parties. By following these steps – from thorough research to fostering collaboration and maintaining patience – you too can turn bargaining into a gift for both sides.

So, the next time you’re in a negotiation, remember: it’s not about who can outwit the other, but rather how you can work together to find a solution that leaves everyone feeling like a winner.

Whether it’s for your new car or your client’s contract – the power is with those who collaborate!

To your negotiation success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

 

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.