Negotiation Skills 101: How a Positive Attitude Enhances Negotiation Success

Has a grouchy waiter ever served you before?

You still get your food and pay your bill, but the whole experience is ruined.

But that’s the thing about human interactions, including negotiations: a person’s attitude can change things for the better or worse.

But does a positive attitude in negotiations make a difference? Research has shown that it does!

The Power of Positive Attitude in Negotiation

Great negotiation results came from positive beliefs about negotiatio, positive affect, concern for one's outcome. People judge our competence not just by the delivered outcome but by the process they perceive.

The Elfenbein Study Says These Attitudes Improve Your Negotiation Outcomes

  • Positive beliefs about negotiation
  • Positive affect (basically a generally positive outlook on life)
  • Concern for one’s outcome

In a study by Elfenbein et al1, they found that people with these three attitudes tended to do better in negotiations.

Those who had positive beliefs about negotiation and a generally positive attitude from the study appeared to be better at claiming value from the negotiation, or as the study puts it:

“This means that positive affect and positive beliefs allowed negotiators to influence their counterpart and capture a greater proportion of the pool of resources over which they negotiated.”

Negotiators who were more concerned about their outcomes tended to create more value via logrolling. The study said “This means that such concern allowed negotiators to uncover opportunities to make mutually rewarding tradeoffs, and to convince others to yield resources.”

Exploring “More for Myself” Instead of “More for Me and Less for You” Thinking

You may not always need a collaborative mindset in order to create more value at a negotiation. We simply need to focus more on growing the slice of the pie that we walk away with instead of  focusing on reducing our counterparty’s share.

At the end of the day in a negotiation, while win-win mindsets help to grow the pie, the end state still requires bargaining for how big a slice you receive. What we want to avoid is combative, win-lose bargaining that can drag out negotiations and lead to sub-optimal outcomes.

“How Would You Treat Your Mother?”

How we perceive our counterparty also really matters in negotiations. Coming back to the ‘waiter’ example we started with, a famous quote from Maya Angelou captures this sentiment well:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

In negotiations, how we treat the other party can be as important as the final outcome because we still need to reach an agreement with them in the end.

So before we walk into meet our counterparty, it helps to ask:

  • How do I want my mother to feel when she goes to a doctor?
  • How do I want to feel when I talk to a lawyer?
  • How might my counterpart have felt during the last meeting?

“Negotiation Can Be Learned”

Some people believe that negotiation is an innate talent that some people have and others don’t. But even if they believe themselves to be talented – this mindset can block growth.

Those who believe that negotiation can be learned end up improving their skills, learning principles and frameworks and generally levelling up.

The result? Some of these students end up becoming more effective negotiators than veterans with 20 years of experience! After all, 20 years of using the exact same tactics and strategies isn’t a sign of improvement at all.

Believing that negotiation is a learnable skill will result in much greater long-term negotiation success.2

Want to see this in action? Check out our story of how someone bought an Audi for the price of a Volkswagen.

Negative Attitudes to Avoid

But this post wouldn’t be complete without a list of attitudes to avoid. There are some really good resources that we can share with you in the references, but we’ve compiled a few of the main ones to avoid here:3

  • Self-limiting Expectations: When negotiators set low expectations for themselves or the negotiation, we tend to accept suboptimal deals. We may underestimate their ability to influence the other party, resulting in less assertive behavior and less favorable outcomes.
  • Ego-Driven Negotiation: Negotiators who focus too much on their own image or on “winning” the negotiation and looking tough. This attitude can prevent us from making necessary concessions, missing out on better positions for our client, or building trust with the other party.
  • Comfort Seeking: Negotiators who prioritize comfort over potentially stressful engagement often avoid difficult conversations or decisions. We might agree too quickly to avoid conflict and resist the hard work needed to explore or pursue more beneficial options.
  • Inertia, or Laziness: This involves simple laziness, a lack of preparation, or easily surrendering concessions.
  • Cavalier Attitudes to Company Money: Negotiators who treat company resources carelessly could lead to overpaying or undervaluing critical aspects of the deal.
  • Self-Absorption: Focusing too much on our needs and ignoring the other party’s interests can damage relationships and hinder collaboration. Negotiators who don’t consider the other side’s perspective may struggle to reach mutually beneficial agreements.
  • Submissiveness: On the flip side, being overly passive, submissive, want to be liked and are too afraid to speak up in negotiations can lead to missed opportunities and unfavorable deals. A balance of assertiveness and collaboration is key to achieving the best outcomes.
  • Drive: The extreme reverse of submissiveness. This could lead to negative behavior like a lack of self-control, the need to dominate, and hyper-competitiveness.

 

Just like eating healthy and training your body, let’s keep a positive mindset towards negotiation and life in general. 

Keep that flame burning and your mind open to learning more about negotiation!

In fact, why not join our online courses and live trainings to test your new-found attitudes out?

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

—

If you enjoyed this content, join our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

References:

  1. Are Some Negotiators Better Than Others? Individual Differences in Bargaining Outcomes – PMC
  2. Do Attitudes in Negotiation Influence Results? – PON
  3. Negotiation Attitudes & Behaviours – from Failure to Success

Negotiation Skills: Building Trust in Negotiations and Why It’s Important

Successful negotiations need trust. Great preparation, strategies, and tactics play a key role in negotiations, but you will not win successful outcomes without trust.

Without trust, negotiations often spiral into competitive cycles where both parties withhold information, pushing them further into a win-loss situation.

Breaking this cycle requires trust. When you create a foundation of trust, you can focus on creating value for both sides. Once the pie is as big as possible, we can return to bargaining.

Trust can similarly be built by managing communication and making the first move toward openness. Reciprocity plays a significant role here—people mirror how they are treated. If you extend trust, you are more likely to receive it in return.

The Trust Advantage: Why Trust is Important in Negotiations

Building trust opens the door to collaboration, reduces friction, and helps uncover interests and potential solutions that may not have surfaced otherwise. But remember: trust is a reciprocal process and “You have to give it to get it.”

During my courses, I often emphasize that trust is built by mirroring behaviors—setting the tone for positive interactions through your energy and approach.

This ties into the concept of mirror neurons, where people unconsciously mimic the energy and emotions they perceive. In this example where this traveler’s strong positive energy changed a ‘Debbie Downer’ to a ‘Debbie Dazzle

The lesson? If you bring trust into the room, it sets the tone for the entire negotiation.

Practical Steps to Building Trust in Negotiations

Strategies for building trust in negotiations: Research and preparation, using your network and reputation, small talk and building a relationship, emphasise common goals, active listening and being respectful, and encourage reciprocity.

1. Research and Preparation

Before you walk into a negotiation, thoroughly understand your counterpart. Who are they? What do they value? What are their needs?

While you are preparing, make educated guesses about their reserve price and your reserve price along with possible concessions you can provide them. The ideal concession is one that costs your party very little but is valuable to your counterparty.

Knowing these details in advance shows that you care about their interests, helps establish credibility from the start, and even gives you opening ammunition to build trust via concessions. We cover more about preparation, together with a checklist, here.

Example: If you’re negotiating with a company that values sustainability, highlight your shared commitment to eco-friendly practices. Showing that you’ve done your homework demonstrates respect and builds trust.

 

2. Leverage Your Network

Word of mouth is still as powerful as ever, and trust is often transferred through relationships. Use your network to find common connections that can vouch for your trustworthiness.

Mutual friends or professional contacts can build credibility and create a foundation of trust before you even enter the negotiation room.

When the opportunity to choose your own counterparty arises, you could leverage your network to recommend a trustworthy counterparty.

Want more strategies for networking? Check out this post.

Example: If you share a mutual colleague, ask them to introduce you. A recommendation from someone they trust will make them more likely to trust you.

 

3. Manage Your Reputation

Your reputation precedes you. Ensure you have a good track record, as this will influence the other party’s perception of you.

If necessary, ask for references from previous negotiations or mutual acquaintances to demonstrate your reliability and integrity.

Example: A positive reputation is essential in industries where relationships matter, like law or finance. If you’re entering a negotiation for a high-stakes deal, references can help assure the other side that you’re a reliable partner.

 

4. Engage in Small Talk and Build Relationships

Small talk has been proven to build rapport and improve negotiation outcomes.

Arriving early for a meeting allows you to engage in informal conversations, which helps create a personal connection before diving into the negotiation.

Example: Chatting about common interests, such as a shared passion for sports or hobbies, can ease tension and make the negotiation feel more human.

 

5. Emphasize Common Goals

Not all negotiations will be solely about bargaining, and there should be room for common interests in many of your negotiations.

One of the best ways to build trust is to highlight shared objectives. When both parties realize they are working toward the same goal, they are more likely to trust each other. We also cover this in our interest-based negotiation post.

Example: In a business negotiation, emphasize how both companies will benefit from a long-term partnership. Frame the conversation around how collaboration can lead to mutual success.

 

6. Active Listening and Respect

Empathy, respect, and honesty are critical components of trust-building. These are best displayed during face-to-face interactions, and there is a case for having face-to-face interactions with your counterparty both during and outside of negotiations.

During negotiations, active listening shows that you’re genuinely invested in what the other party has to say. Reflect on their concerns to demonstrate that you understand their perspective. This is also one way to show them respect.

Example: If your counterpart raises a concern about pricing, acknowledge their worry and explore solutions that could meet both your needs. Listening without interrupting also fosters an environment of respect.

 

7. Reciprocity and Unilateral Concessions

Sometimes, it pays to make the first move. Making small unilateral concessions without asking for anything in return signals trust. Once you make the first move, the other party will often feel compelled to reciprocate, opening the door to further collaboration.

Example: To start the negotiation, offer a small concession, like flexible payment terms. When labeled correctly, this can prompt the other side to make a similar move.

 

8. Label and Explain Your Concessions

Always label your concessions so the other party recognizes them. When you make a concession, explain why you’re doing so and what you hope to achieve.

Unfortunately, your counterparty is not always incentivized to acknowledge your concession. Explaining it and labeling it clearly beyond a reasonable doubt helps draw attention to your gestures, fostering a feeling of trust and reciprocity.

You can also find out more about concession strategies post.

Example: “I’m offering a 10% discount because I believe this long-term partnership will benefit us both. I hope this helps us move forward together.”

 

Cultural Considerations in Trust-Building

Different cultures approach trust and negotiation differently. In some cultures, aggressive bargaining is expected, while in others, such tactics can be seen as disrespectful. Be sure to adjust your trust-building strategies to align with cultural expectations.

Example: In Western cultures, trust might be built through transparency and directness, whereas in some Asian cultures, trust is built through patience and relationship-building over time.

 

Conclusion: Trust as the Key to Successful Negotiations

Reputation means the world to negotiators; trust is part of maintaining that reputation.

By building trust through research, small concessions, active listening, and strategic transparency, you can break out of the competitive cycle and foster a collaborative environment that leads to win-win solutions.

It helps to remember that negotiation still requires communicating with other people, and that trust is both a mindset and a strategy. Approach every negotiation with the intention of building long-term relationships, and you’ll see better outcomes for all involved.

 

By following these principles, you can make trust-building a cornerstone of your negotiation strategy, ensuring successful, sustainable agreements time and time again.

Want to see some negotiation principles in action in real life, or pick our brains in real time? Try one of our online courses or join a tailor-made live training session for your organization.

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

—

If you enjoyed this content, join our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

Further Reading:

Negotiation Skills: Concessions in Negotiation – Strategic Approaches for Win-Win Solutions

Negotiation Skills: Concessions in Negotiation – Strategic Approaches for Win-Win Solutions

Have you noticed that great conversations have a fair amount of give and take?

Each party takes turns speaking and listening to the other. When respect is given, respect is received.

Negotiations are a lot like conversations, only with higher stakes. If nothing is given at first, nothing is received. And this is where concession strategies come in.

A concession is when you offer something during negotiations to move closer to a mutually beneficial outcome. However, how you make concessions affects the outcome of the negotiation a lot. As with conversations, saying the right thing the wrong way can lead to disaster.

For example, if you give them everything they want too soon, you might leave your counterparty with the Winner’s Curse. The winner’s curse happens when the counterparty feels they might have been shortchanged due to winning way too quickly.

Situations like getting the winner’s curse are best avoided. A well-prepared concession strategy can build trust, improve outcomes, and foster long-term partnerships.

Concessions and Subjective Satisfaction

A key point in negotiation strategy is that how you get to a deal is just as important as what the outcome is. When people feel that they worked hard for each concession, they experience greater subjective satisfaction – even if you were planning for them to achieve that outcome from the very beginning.

Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, famous for their work on Prospect Theory teach us that how information is delivered affects how they will react. People prefer receiving bad news all at once, but enjoy receiving good news gradually. You can find out more about Kahneman and Tversky’s work on prospect theory here.

Making the counterparty work for their concessions gives them the subjective satisfaction of continually winning small victories—avoiding the Winner’s Curse.

 

Anchoring and Concessions

The first set of ideas, asks and thoughts in any conversation can have a disproportionately high influence on he rest of the negotiation. This is called the anchoring effect and is proven in many, many studies. Setting the first anchor can define the entire bargaining range before we can begin providing concessions. You can also find out more about anchoring here.

If your counterparty takes a robust initial position, you should bring their price closer to your reserve price before presenting your own counteroffer.

This creates a more favorable range for subsequent concessions or the zone of possible agreement, making it easier to get to your target outcome.

Your reactions can also help to shift the anchor. You could intentionally ‘flinch’ at their starting anchor to see if they can move it closer to what you are going for before you counter-offer. This gives them the impression that they are winning.

The reverse is true. If we make the first offer, we will want to offer close to our counterparty’s limit or reservation price. The limit price is the highest price at which the buyer is willing to still buy the item and the lowest price at which a seller is still willing to sell the item.

 

Proper Preparation is Key

If you’ve prepared well, you should have a decent estimate of your limit price and your counterparty’s limit price.

You should also look out for what you can provide as concessions to them. The ideal scenario is that it costs your party very little while being highly valuable to your counterparty to help build trust. Conversely, you will want to list out the concessions you want from their side as well. Our preparation checklist provides more information.

Now that this has been established, we can now check out the concession strategies.

 

Four Key Concession Strategies:1

Four Negotiation Strategies for Concessions - Label Your Concessions, Demand and Define Reciprocity, Make Contingent Concessions, Make Concessions in Installments

  1. Label Your Concessions: Your counterparty has the incentive to ignore your concessions so we should not assume that they will recognize your concessions without making it clear.

    By explicitly labeling your concessions so that they will not be ignored.

    • Example: “I am willing to lower the price by 5%, but I need you to commit to a larger order.” 
  2. Demand Reciprocity: Every concession should come with an ask. You’re not giving something for nothing—clearly ask the counterparty to reciprocate with their own concession.
    • Example: “I’ve agreed to shorten the delivery time. In exchange, I’ll need a longer-term contract.” 
  3. Use Contingent Concessions: In situations where trust is low, make your concessions conditional on specific actions. This ensures that you don’t give away leverage prematurely.
    • Example: “I’ll lower the price on this product, but only if you agree to a two-year service contract.” 
  4. Installment Concessions: Just like with good news, delivering concessions in smaller increments can create the impression that the other side is “winning” more throughout the negotiation. This maintains positive momentum and keeps the other party engaged.
    • Example: Start by conceding on less significant terms and work toward bigger concessions over time.

 

Also, Take Note of Cultural Differences in Concession Strategies

Different cultures treat bargaining differently. In some cultures, aggressive bargaining is expected, and concessions are part of a back-and-forth exchange. In others, concessions may be seen as a sign of weakness, and a more straightforward approach is valued.

Before entering a negotiation, it’s crucial to understand the counterparty’s cultural norms. If aggressive bargaining is common, come with a well-structured concession plan. If not, be more strategic about the concessions you make and when you make them.

 

Conclusion

In the end, nothing given means nothing gained.

When you use concessions strategically, you can transform negotiations from deadlocks into potential win-win scenarios.

By coming prepared with limit prices, what you can concede and ask for, along with the strategies you can use to encourage reciprocity, we can work towards a deal where both parties feel satisfied. Remember to make your counterparty work for it, so they walk away feeling like they’ve won every concession.

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

If you want to see how these biases happen in real life, try one of our online courses or join a tailor-made live training session for your organization!

—

If you enjoyed this content, join our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

Additional reading:

Four Strategies for Making Concessions in Negotiation – PON

Negotiation Skills 101: Common Cognitive Biases in Negotiations

Try thinking back on some conversations you’ve had with a biased person.

They tend to interpret things in ways that don’t seem objective or are clearly self-serving.

These tendencies might seem harmless in casual conversations, but in negotiations, cognitive biases can lead to suboptimal outcomes if we don’t catch ourselves in the act.

We’ve covered a fair number of common cognitive biases that could plague any negotiator, and this post is to give you a quick overview of them all.

What Are Cognitive Biases in Negotiations?

When your current understanding of the matter is different from what the matter is, you have a cognitive bias.

Cognitive biases are systematic errors in thinking that arise from our brain’s reliance on mental shortcuts. These are mental shortcuts that we take to draw conclusions faster but lead to judgments and decisions that deviate from rationality.

In everyday situations, cognitive biases might be harmless or even helpful. But in negotiation, slower, more deliberate thinking is crucial.

To better understand cognitive biases, it helps to review Kahneman and Tversky’s System 1 and System 2 thinking from their book “Thinking Fast and Slow”:

System 1 is fast, automatic, and intuitive. It operates with little effort but is also prone to biases and errors. It is responsible for quick judgments and impressions. We make most of our daily decisions using System 1 thinking (think about 95%).

System 2 is slow, deliberate, and analytical. It requires more cognitive effort and is used for complex reasoning and problem-solving. It monitors and evaluates the decisions made by System 1 but is often lazy and easily distracted, leading to reliance on System 1’s quick but sometimes flawed conclusions.

In negotiations, relying too much on System 1—trusting our gut feelings—can lead to biased conclusions. Taking time to slow down and analyze the situation using System 2 can help counter these biases.

We cover more detailed examples of how System 1 and System 2 thinking affect negotiations in this blog post.

Types of Cognitive Biases in Negotiations

There are many reasons why cognitive biases in negotiations happen, such as latching on to initial information too tightly or even your inherent values and beliefs.

Here’s a quick list with links to their more detailed articles:

Selective Perception

Selective perception refers to people’s tendency to interpret information to confirm their beliefs, impressions, and experiences. This can go as far as selectively filtering out information that doesn’t help us get what we want.

Example: Imagine presenting the same evidence to both the plaintiff’s and the defendant’s lawyers in a case. Each lawyer may interpret the evidence differently based on what benefits their client.

Read more on selective perception here.

Framing

How an offer is framed will affect the way we interpret and react to it. Here are two examples of how this could happen:

Loss Aversion – The pain we feel from losses tends to be felt more than the joy from gains, so people try to avoid losses whenever they can.

Certainty Effect – The certainty effect happens when people prefer guaranteed outcomes compared to probable outcomes. This leads to people avoiding risk when there is one of their options has guaranteed results.

The reverse is also true, where they want to avoid guaranteed losses and pick probable gains. This preference persists even if the probabilistic option could have a better payoff

Both of these biases are key components of Kahneman and Tversky’s Prospect Theory. You can read more about how framing works in negotiations here.

Differences in Values and Beliefs

Differences in values and beliefs can manifest problems in different ways. If you enter a negotiation with somebody you have enmity with, that could lead to win-loss mindsets.

Value conflict could also lead us to selectively ignore or leave out key information they provide if we choose to value the information less than they do.

Offers that don’t align with the values and expectations of the other side could also be rejected out of principle, even if it is an objectively good deal.

Example: In labor negotiations, a company may value profitability, while a union prioritizes worker well-being. This value conflict can lead to deadlock, even if both parties stand to gain from an agreement.

To get more details on this cognitive bias, read more here.

Perceptions of Fairness

People reject outcomes they perceive as unfair, even if it results in worse outcomes for both parties.

Example: In this Ultimatum game social experiment, two parties were given money to split among themselves. The condition is that they could only receive the money if both parties agreed on the amount. The splits were closer to equal splits of the money as the receiving party would choose to reject offers and walk away with nothing rather than accept an outcome they perceived as unfair.

In negotiations, parties tend to select standards of fairness that benefit their side the most. To find out 4 of these standards, check out more in our fairness article.

Overconfidence

This comes across as more of an attitude instead of a cognitive bias, but it is actually a cognitive bias all the same.

Overconfidence bias happens when we overestimate our abilities, judgments, and estimated success while underestimating all these aspects of our environment or counterparty. This hampers our assumptions, judgements and estimations of success – which can all hamper our decision making during negotiations.

Example: A negotiator may assume they know exactly what the other party wants, only to discover that their assumptions were completely off, leading to a missed opportunity for a deal.

Find out more about overconfidence here.

 

There are plenty of other cognitive biases that we haven’t covered yet, but just familiarising yourself with some of these can help you to keep your own biases in check.

Ever wanted to see some of these in action? We have live demonstrations of these biases in action during our live negotiation workshops.

Curious? Contact us and sign up for one of our workshops or online courses today!

 

To your negotiation success!

Dr. Claudia Winkler

 

We share a lot of what we’ve learned by training businesses and law firms with their negotiation in our online courses and live sessions.

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

If you want to see how these biases happen in real life, try one of our online courses or join a tailor-made live training session for your organization!

Negotiation Skills for Lawyers: Win Through Great Negotiation Preparation

Thumbnail for Negotiation Preparation

Negotiation Skills Rule 101: You don’t prepare, you don’t succeed.

When studying for your law degree, have you ever tried sitting for an exam without studying?

Even if it’s an open book exam, you won’t remember where the important cases are. Without notes to refer to, your arguments won’t be as strong as they could have been.

Similarly, in negotiations, preparation is considered to be 80% of your success. Yet so many people go into negotiations thinking they can just “wing it.”

This is how even younger negotiators can outperform more experienced negotiators: By realizing that experience doesn’t necessarily translate into expertise. And that smart negotiation preparation trumps them both.

Let’s dive into how to prepare based on the 6-step preparation worksheet we use in our courses (you can download it for free here)

Getting ready like a pro

I believe it was Muhammad Ali who said something along the lines of:

“I’ve never won a battle in the ring, always in training.“

In negotiation like in sports, most of your success gets determined by what you do before you even enter the ring, ahem, conference room.

But unlike professional sports, most “professional negotiators” have no idea about the preparation game that the more successful people around them are playing (and if they are really good, you will never know that they just got a much better deal than you ;))

 

Here is your 6-step game preparation plan

Interests, Goals and Priorities, Options that are aligned with interests info to share or not share, BATNA, Prices and ZOPA

1. Interests

Interests refer to ‘why’ a party wants what it wants. This is different from a position that is ‘what’ it wants.

When representing a client, you need to speak with them to find out not just their position but, more importantly, why they are asking you for a certain action and what it means for their business.

Similarly, researching your counterparty can give you an idea of what positions they are looking for and the underlying reasons.

The better you understand your clients’ and the other side’s interest, the better you are positioned to expand the pie by offering new options that meet everyone’s interests in a more optimal way.

 

2. Goals and Priorities

To optimize your interest focus, where to push, and where to value trade, you want to figure out what parts of your position are critical, ideal or can be traded off for concessions.

Separating your interests into an M.I.T. list helps you prioritize:

  • Must have issues are your 2-3 non-negotiable interest. If you don’t get those needs met, you will leave the table.
  • Ideal goals are your stretch goals. Another 7-10 issues that optimally you would love to achieve, but are not dealbreakers.
  • Tradeable are issues that you have identified of interest to you, but not at a high priority, and so you are willing to trade those away for matters of higher interest to you first.

Now, Step 2: What do you think are those on the other side?

Once you’ve listed them out, we can go to step 3.

 

3. Creating Options That Are Aligned with Interests

Now that we have an idea of what both sides want, we can create options that align with both sides. Options refer to potential outcomes that align with a specific interest. In a negotiation, different options can be mixed and matched into different offers.

All the work you’ve done in step 2 comes into play here, especially knowing what we must have, what the ideal outcome could look like, and what we could give away. When you compare the options, it’ll give you some idea on how to make them work for the options they want while you consider how to get to your own.

During the negotiation itself you’ll learn more information on their interests and desired options. You can then adjust your options lists and strategy accordingly, such as seeing if there is room to grow the pie further or to push for what we want. You can read more about interests here.

 

4. Information Gathering and Giving

Trust is created the fastest when information is shared. To build trust, you need to be ready to go first. Having prepared what you can share should help you get away from your natural default of not sharing (“this is ALL confidential!!”).

Of course, don’t give away everything at once, but start small and create reciprocity. If done right, this will open up communications with the other side to eventually find out their interests, prices, and other information you can use to get the outcome you want.

Reciprocity plays a big part in building rapport and eventually trust with your counterparty. Preparing what information you can share gets you there the fastest.

 

5. Negotiation Power

Power in negotiations comes from how much we need – or don’t need – the counterparty.

In negotiations, this power is denoted as the ‘Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement’ (BATNA) or a plan B.

To prepare and boost your bargaining power, you need to ask:

  • What options do we have if this negotiation fails?
  • How can we improve our BATNA?
  • What is their perception of our BATNA?

Similarly, if we can find out what our counterparty’s BATNA is, it can tell us how far we can push. To find that out, start with these questions:

  • What might they do if the negotiation fails?
  • Do we have information that influences their BATNA?

 

6. The Three Numbers

Knowing your target and limit prices and your counterparty’s limit prices will help you gauge how far you can push in your negotiations.

If you haven’t already, you can get our pdf version of the preparation sheet here.

The three numbers you need to prepare are:

 

There are many other elements that you can research and prepare for negotiations, but starting with these default elements like the underlying interests of both parties, goals and priorities, walkaway points, and bargaining power (BATNA) will significantly improve your chances of success.

To your negotiation success!

Dr. Claudia Winkler

 

If you enjoyed this content, join our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

Want to learn more about effective preparation and how you can beat even more senior negotiators? Joining one of our online courses or organizing a tailor-made live training session for your organization will put you en par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally.

Just reach out to me at claudia@necademy.com to discuss!    

Cognitive Biases in Negotiation: Differences in Values and Beliefs

People arguing during a negotiation due to differences in values and beliefs

Welcome back to our series on cognitive biases in negotiation!

So far in our cognitive bias series, we’ve covered prospect theory and selective perception. Prospect theory shows how we can be affected by something framed as a gain or loss. Selective perception happens when we zoom in on information that supports what we believe or want to see while ignoring other information.

Now we’re moving on to biases based on our beliefs, the counterparty’s beliefs, and even what we believe about the counterparty.

Ever had an impression of someone, and after meeting them they reinforced what you felt? What if others see that individual in a completely different light? Would that impact how you treat them in a negotiation?

If you answered no, you’ll still need to be cautious and catch yourself thinking that way in negotiations, as we explore further below.

Values and Beliefs and Value Conflicts

Value conflict, miscommunication and selective perception appear due to differences in values and beliefs during negotiations

Value conflicts arise around core values such as morals, religious beliefs, and family welfare.

Values and beliefs shape how we perceive information and can create blind spots in negotiations. For instance, if a negotiator values short-term gains over long-term relationships, they might disregard offers that could benefit them in the long run.

Another pitfall we should consider is how we think of the counterparty. Never assume that they are irrational or you’ll take power away from yourself (!). Find out how they think and what they value and then try framing things around that. Even if it initially appears irrational to us, what they value still makes sense to them, so we can appeal to that.

Consider a company prioritizing profit over employee well-being. This value system might lead them to overlook proposals that could improve workplace morale, ultimately affecting productivity. One great example is the tension between companies and worker’s unions.

During collective bargaining agreements between businesses and worker’s unions, many different examples of how values and beliefs interfere with negotiations abound:

In this scenario, the corporation values profitability, operational efficiency, and maintaining control over workplace policies. In contrast, the union prioritizes fair wages, job security, healthcare benefits, and safe working conditions for its members. These differing priorities can lead to significant challenges in negotiations.

Impasses

Differing values often lead to impasses during negotiations. For instance, the union might push for pay raises, citing the rising cost of living and the need for fair compensation. On the other hand, the corporation might resist these demands, arguing that significant wage hikes could hurt its competitive edge and financial stability.

Miscommunication

Differing values and beliefs can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations of the other party’s intentions and statements (Thompson, 2006).1

For example, workers could be so angry with the way they perceive their bosses have been treating them that they are unable to see or accept concessions given to them. Anger has been shown to impair our ability to perceive things in a neutral way, leading to miscommunication.2

Conflict, Tension and Reduced Collaboration

Deep-seated differences in values and beliefs can create underlying tension and conflict, making it harder to reach a consensus (Fisher & Ury, 1981).3 Also, when negotiators hold strongly opposing beliefs, they may be more likely to adopt a competitive rather than cooperative or collaborative approach (Lewicki, Barry, & Saunders, 2016).4

Business and workers’ union negotiations can become heated, with both sides finding it difficult to reach an agreement. The corporation might perceive the union’s demands as excessive and unfeasible, while the union sees the corporation’s resistance as prioritizing profits over people. This dynamic can lead to strikes, protests, and other forms of industrial action, which can be costly and damaging for both parties.

Sadly, with how heated these can get and how deep-seated each party’s assumptions about the other are —‘lazy and entitled workers’ vs. ‘greedy executives’—it can get quite challenging to find a win-win solution in many cases.

Reducing the Effect of Cognitive Biases

The same steps that can overcome selective perception biases and framing biases can help you overcome overconfidence, blind spots, and differing values and beliefs:

Prepare Well and Never Assume Anything

Being humble and never judging your counterparty too hastily as you prepare for the negotiation can help you overcome any prejudices you may harbor.

Preparation is 80 percent of your negotiation outcome. It can also give you insight into your counterparty even before you arrive at the negotiation table. For more, check out our preparation checklist.

Keeping an Open Mind

Never fall back into the ‘this is how we’ve always done it’ mindset. Monitor how you take in and process information.

Summarise and Reframe

You can summarise what your counterparty has said to ensure you haven’t left out or filtered anything they have said and understand their points correctly. Reframing their shared information can also help you avoid getting caught in gain/loss framing.

Think through and be honest while seeking the opinions of others

You can discuss and think through the negotiation’s progress with an assistant. During the discussion, you can objectively look through the strengths and weaknesses of your side and theirs.

Take Your Time

Never rush to a conclusion. We covered that thinking too quickly uses System 1 thinking that is fast but prone to biases. Give yourself enough time to use System 2 thinking and consider their statements, results, and options rationally and carefully to see if you’ve been subconsciously biasing your own understanding based on your own beliefs.

Negotiations are based on how well you communicate with your counterparty, so knowing their value and why can give you a major advantage. Similarly, we need to leave our prejudices at the door so that we don’t get blinded by our own beliefs and jeopardize the negotiation.

We share a lot of what we’ve learned by training businesses and law firms with their negotiation in our online courses and live sessions.

Joining one of our courses will put you on par with over 10,000 leading lawyers from Fortune 500 companies to Tier 1 law firms globally, boosting your negotiation skills to new heights.

If you want to see how these biases happen in real life, try one of our online courses or join a tailor-made live training session for your organization!

References:

  1. Pronin, E., Lin, D. Y., & Ross, L. (2002). The Bias Blind Spot: Perceptions of Bias in Self Versus Others. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(3), 369-381.
  2. Communication Breakdowns: When All We Can See is Red – Programme On Negotiation Harvard
  3. Fisher, R., & Ury, W. (1981). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin Books.
  4.  Lewicki, R. J., Barry, B., & Saunders, D. M. (2016). Negotiation. McGraw-Hill Education

Negotiation Skills 101: Interest-based Negotiations – Start With Why

Man thinking about interests in a negotiation - thinking about why his counterparty wants what they want

Picture a potential client walking through the door seeking your legal services to sue one of his rivals.

After he explains his case to you, you inform him that settling out of court makes more sense as fighting the case in court will take too long and be too expensive. He responds with this cliché:

“It’s not about the money; it’s about sending a message.”

What’s his desired position? To sue his opponent.

What is his interest here? Revenge.

Tough.

As negotiators, knowing your client’s interests and positions is key to preparing for any successful negotiation.

Starting Negotiations With Why:
How Finding Interests in Negotiation Creates Value

Finding out each other’s interests can reveal more value (or money) for both parties.

You might know this age-old example from Getting to Yes: Two sisters negotiate for the same orange and eventually agree to split the orange in half. This looks like a fair outcome, but if they asked each other what they wanted the orange for, both could have gotten more of what they needed.

A position refers to “What you want.” In this case, each sister wanted the whole orange.

Interests refer to “Why you want it.” In this example, one sister wanted to use the peel for a recipe while the other wanted to make orange juice. Had they known why each wanted the orange, one would have the whole peel and the other would have the whole orange’s worth of juice.

Iceberg illustrating that positions are the tip of the iceberg. Interests are always under the surface and require some exploration. The result is being able to create value for both sides expanding the pie for all

If negotiators only focus on positions, there’s a tendency to slip into a competitive mindset. That causes us to dig in and only focus on trying to get a larger slice of the pie. Position-focused negotiation could also lead to underlying interests not being fulfilled, unsatisfactory outcomes for both parties and possibly a breakdown in the relationship.

Interests tend to be easier to reconcile than positions, and focusing on interests provides more room to find win-win solutions. By uncovering what each party needs, like in the orange example, there could be ways to satisfy both parties’ true needs and create more value for both sides.

Finding Your Client’s Interest

When preparing for a negotiation, your clients will give you their position, but it’s up to you to figure out their interests. Without understanding their interests, you could face situations where getting them their desired position still leaves them unsatisfied if their true interests are still unmet.

While preparing for your negotiation, have a meeting with your key stakeholders to find out their positions, priorities,  and requirements. During this discussion, focus on their motivations by asking them to explain the underlying needs or benefits of their positions.

This process could take some time, and regular check-ins throughout the negotiation process could help you better understand what your side is looking for.

Here are some questions, known as chunking questions, you can ask:

  • “If you had [what you want], what would that do for you/your business?”
  • “Can you tell me more about what we are hoping to achieve by [What they asked you for]” ?”
  • “How is [what you want] helping you make things work/right?”

Finding Your Negotiation Counterparty’s Interest

There are 2 main types of negotiation: competitive negotiation and collaborative negotiation.

In a competitive negotiation, what matters is ‘more for me, less for you.’

But when we start with competitive negotiation right out the gate, we refuse to share or learn information. If our counterparty reciprocates competitively, you’ll end with a zero-sum game situation.

People tend to resist answering questions during negotiations if they view negotiation as a competition. When they think this way, they won’t answer questions for fear of being taken advantage of or giving too much away.

Collaborative negotiation, on the other hand, is about growing value together, so the focus is not on ‘less for you’ but ‘more for myself’ by making the pie bigger.

Moving towards collaborative negotiations and away from competitive negotiations requires us to share information strategically and get them to reciprocate. Here are some tips to do that:

Build trust first

If our counterparty doesn’t trust us, they’ll play their cards close to their chest. Reciprocity is key, and we won’t learn anything from them if we don’t share some information with them first.

To know what to share, we must shift our mindsets away from “share as little as possible” to “withhold only what’s necessary.”

Prepare and take small steps:

Preparation lets us know what information is key to our position and which ones we can share more freely. Knowing this prevents us from defaulting to competitive negotiation which could kill any value creation opportunities.

When negotiating with your counterparty, gradually build up sharing and be careful with what you’re giving away, especially if your counterparty is a competitor.

We’ll still need to focus on the outcomes of our decisions, so don’t give anything away without expecting anything in return.

Ask questions carefully:

Once you’ve gained their trust, you can then ask probing questions to uncover their interests. For example, if they state their position you can ask these questions to lead them towards discussing interests instead:

  • “If you had what it is you want, how would that help you?”
  • “How is that useful to you?”

You can also use open questions once you’ve built sufficient trust with them to uncover their interests:

  • “What do you need to achieve?”
  • “What is most important to you?”
  • “What would it take for this to work for both of us?”

Here are other probing questions that you can also try:

Nudging probes: Saying things like “I see,” and “What happened after that?” can get people to open up and answer more thoroughly if they are initially resisting questions

Silence probe: Sometimes, choosing not to speak but using body language, like nodding, to show that you’re still listening could encourage them to speak more. They could end up giving you valuable information this way.

Information probe: This is a follow-up question that asks for more information regarding a response that seems to be incomplete. You can follow up some of their responses by asking “When you say you need more X, could you be more specific?”

Summary probe: This involves summarizing your counterpart’s responses so far. This can show them that you’ve been paying attention and could get them to elaborate further on what they’ve already shared.

Clearinghouse probe: This is a blanket question to let the counterparty provide more information about given issues. One example is “Is there anything else that we still need to cover about this deal?”

 

Understanding interests can transform negotiations, making outcomes more satisfactory for all parties involved.

However, there is a fine line to walk when using interest-based negotiation. We need to be strategic when handling both our clients and the counterparty so that we don’t slip into competitive bargaining too quickly or get taken advantage of during negotiations.

Want to learn more about using interests strategically or about negotiation? Join our live sessions or online courses at Negotiation Academy. Start improving your negotiation skills today!

Also, if you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

At Negotiation Academy, we’re on a mission to make negotiation skills second nature to everyone because we believe that negotiation is one of the most influential skills for your career, life, and business. 

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Finding Negotiation Skills Training For Corporations: Live Training vs Pre-recorded Online Courses

“Live training or online course?”

“Large or small scale?”

When it comes to finding the right corporate training courses for your organization, the options and considerations can be overwhelming. This is more so for negotiation skills training – a vital, people-facing skill

To help you out, we’ll show you how to shortlist the right negotiation courses based on your organization’s needs. We’ll also discuss the pros and cons of live training sessions and online courses and what to consider when choosing between them.

Steps to Finding the Right Negotiation Training

There is no “magic bullet” training that hits all the spots for everyone in your company and you’ll need to consider your specific stakeholder’s training needs.

With that said, here are some steps you can take to help narrow down your negotiation course search:

  1. Define Your Organization’s Objectives and Target Audience: Determine who needs training and their specific negotiation skill requirements.
  2. Set Criteria for Course Selection:
    1. Content that you want to cover (i.e. your learning goals)
    2. Content format (e.g. online of offline)
    3. Duration and flexibility required
    4. Accreditation or certification needs
  3. Research Potential Courses: Use online searches, professional networks, and training providers to shortlist who you might want to work with.
  4. Evaluate Courses: Look at course reviews, testimonials, instructor credentials, content, and practical applications examples and talk to the person who will be customizing the training for your organization to get a better feel of their approach.
  5. Cost and ROI Analysis: Consider your budget and the potential return on investment (ROI).
  6. Shortlist, Comparison and Final Selection: Narrow down your course options based on your priorities. Organize a trial sessions, gather stakeholder feedback, and make a decision.
  7. Implementation: Enroll participants, monitor progress, and evaluate the impact.

There are major differences between instructor-led live training and online courses with pre-recorded material. Some approaches, like live coaching, can provide customized content, in-depth training, and immediate feedback, while online courses—like the ones found on Udemy—can be freely accessed anytime and are great for busy teams, but they lack customization and immediate feedback.

To determine which of the two methods best suits your organization, we’ll start with steps 1 and 2 of the list above: defining your organization’s needs and setting your course selection criteria.

  • Who is the training for, what seniority or specialization among your teams?
  • What are their work schedules like? Do they prefer online of in-person training?
  • How familiar are they with negotiation and what prior training have they had?
  • What level of negotiation skills would we like them to attain? What is the end goal of the training?

If you have a large group requiring a basic understanding of negotiation concepts, pre-recorded online training can work well. Smaller-scale training and coaching sessions could be more suitable for those who are already experienced negotiators and need customized training with personalized feedback.

These constraints will help you narrow down your search to live training or online courses. With that said, here are some pros and cons of both these negotiation course types.

Pros and cons of negotiationo live training vs online pre-recorded lectures

Live Training Vs Pre-recorded Online Lectures

Live Training

Live negotiation skills training has the advantage of letting attendees interact with the speaker and with each other. Interactive demonstrations, such as a show of hands to demonstrate psychological biases in real-time and seeing how people react to competitive and cooperative situations in real-time, can be powerful learning experiences.

As an added bonus, seeing your colleagues’ choices during the interactive parts of the negotiation training and practising with them are great team-building opportunities.

Live Training Formats:

  • Instructor-led Workshops: Tailored workshops focusing on negotiation techniques and skills
  • Keynotes: Presentations tailored to suit different audiences.
  • Events and Off-sites: Interactive sessions ideal for team building.
  • Coaching: Small-group coaching sessions for advanced skill development and personalised feedback.

Pros:

  • Live Interactions Enhance Learning: Engaging methods such as role-plays and live Q&A sessions make the learning process more effective.
    • Roleplays allow people to practice negotiation concepts.
    • One great example is seeing the body language of their role-playing partner, which is vital to negotiation. Live polls and interactive demonstrations of psychological concepts within the audience can drive home the point that we all have ways of thinking that impact how we negotiate.
  • Better Completion Rates: Live training attendees are more likely to complete the training than online training.
  • Instant Feedback: In smaller-scale coaching sessions, participants will receive immediate feedback. They can also ask questions directly to the instructor.
  • Team Building: These sessions also serve as excellent team-building exercises.

Cons:

  • Scheduling Challenges: Needing to fix a timing can make it difficult to coordinate between attendees and the speaker.
  • Logistical Requirements: Requires a venue and additional resources such as audio support.

Pre-recorded or Video-on-Demand Online Courses

With the popularity of sites like Udemy, Coursera, and Khan Academy, online training has come a long way even for teaching people-based skills like negotiation.

Online negotiation skills training courses featuring on-demand lecture videos can be accessed anytime and anywhere. This means that scheduling no longer becomes a problem and that engagement statistics can be tracked by who has completed the courses and earned their certificates.

Online training allows course providers to add videos like case studies, and interviews with experts to show real-world application of negotiation skills. Online forums and debrief videos also allow participants to practice negotiation skills.

You can hear more about how we think about teaching negotiation online here:

Vimeo 7

 

Formats:

Online courses vary in terms of which material they provide:

  • Video Lectures: Comprehensive and accessible content.
  • Interviews with Practitioners: Insights from professionals in relevant fields.
  • Case Study Breakout Rooms: An online equivalent of breaking into small groups to negotiate a practice case. Students can then watch debrief videos to see where to improve.
  • Online Forums for Students: Online forums for students to discuss concepts and cases.

Pros:

  • Flexibility and Ease of Enrollment: Staff can access courses anytime, anywhere, fitting learning into their schedules. Online courses are also less taxing for HR teams to manage.
  • More Time to Practice: The on-demand nature of the course gives learners more time to digest new negotiation concepts and practice them in a way that large-scale 1-day workshops don’t allow.
  • Depth and Access to Material from More Experts: Online courses can be packed with more information than some one-day workshops. Videos and material from leading negotiators around the world can be included in the online course.
  • Online Community Learning: Online breakout rooms can allow learners to practice negotiating with one another in the same way that small-scale negotiation live training provides.
    • After practising with others in the breakout rooms, course takers can watch debrief videos extensively covering the case’s strategies, concepts and key numbers.
    • Online forums allow students to discuss case studies and learning material, fostering collaborative learning.
  • Certification: Online certificates help HR track engagement and completion rates.

Cons:

  • Online Learning Attrition: Lacks the immediate feedback and motivation provided by live training. Many students may be too busy to finish the online course.
  • No Direct Feedback and Face-to-face Experiences: Participants cannot ask the tutor questions directly nor hear personal feedback on case study or negotiation practice the way that live training in small groups can provide.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for choosing between online or live training methods. It’s crucial to consider the needs of your team members who need to improve their negotiation skills.

Having worked with Fortune 500 businesses and leading global law firms for 10+ years, Negotiation Academy brings experience in training over 10k professionals in person and over 15,000 professionals online in 126 countries. This vast experience online and on the ground helps us ensure that we can help you meet your organization’s needs.

Check out our live training and online course catalogue today!

 

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about. 

Creating and Capturing Value in Negotiations as In House Counsel

70% of in-house counsel said they negotiate “daily” or “all the time” when polled at the recent ACC (Association of Corporate Counsel) APAC Annual Conference where I spoke with my dear colleagues Terry D. Thornley, General Counsel APAC Spencer Stuart, Nathalia Lossovska, Head of Legal, APAC Willis Tower Watson, and Wee Meng Chuan, CEO of the Singapore International Mediation Centre.

Yet at the same time, only 30% feel adequately equipped with skills and tools to optimize their results.

Building on these all-too-common statistics, my co-panellists and I shared some of the most effective negotiation approaches and common mistakes. This post summarizes the top 5 learnings and stories for in-house counsel to take away for their daily work, and one that you can use for your personal gourmet adventures around the world 😊

1. Uncover the true interests of the other party

Imagine a common contracting issue: A successful architect sues a developer for unpaid fees on a project he had worked on but because of a dispute was not able to finish. To add insult to injury, after his removal from the project, the developer submitted the development for a design competition and won. But the name of the original architect had been removed. Sting!

It was only in Mediation, a process of facilitated negotiation that uses the help of a neutral third person, that the parties discovered that this sting, not the money, was the main driver for the architect’s claim. With the architect’s name back on the project, the developer went on to compete in a second competition, and the deal was sealed. A win-win also for the developer, who submits his project with the name of this famous architect.

Remember: Positions are what the other side will tell you, e.g. suing for money. Interests are what they are really after, e.g. recognition and reputation here. But you have to build trust with the other side and dig deeper to find out about these!

2. Uncover the real power of your alternatives

A supplier with the contractual obligation to deliver a specific gearbox part to you suddenly demands a 20% price increase, or they will stop delivering next quarter. Your business chiefs try to negotiate, but the supplier won’t budge. Fronts are hard. So the chiefs come running to you. “Enforce this contract with full steam.”

The situation looks dire: Failing further deliveries, your plant of 5,000 people will stand still within as little as 2 months. A positive outcome of a lawsuit is far from guaranteed under the current market conditions with the supplier claiming all kinds of hardship. And even IF you win, enforcement will never be fast enough to keep your plant running. You may have a contractual right – but no power to force the other side to deliver. In Negotiator terms: Your BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement, aka Plan B) is weak. That is wrong. It’s horrible.

Once in-house counsel in this case had analysed the full picture of the situation, only one real alternative emerged, and it was not “enforcing with full steam”. The company had to get back to the negotiation table if they wanted to rescue this.

Reopening stalled negotiations and finding common ground was not an easy task, but paid off when they found out that the supplier’s main shareholder wanted to get rid of this unprofitable part of the business. Together they found a buyer who agreed to purchase the business unit and the client offered a longer contract with minimum quantities as a guarantee. The plant keeps running. The supplier also achieved their goal of selling.

Remember: When the business comes to you and shouts for “enforcement” and “getting their rights”, make sure you take a step back and analyse your alternatives (BATNA) and the most likely outcome to achieve the actual business needs behind it. As mentioned in point #1, people will come with their positions. Your job is to find their interests and get them the corresponding results.

3. Prepare – prepare – prepare

“80% of negotiation success is determined before you enter the negotiation”. Internal negotiations are no different. “When negotiating for headcount and budgeting in the firm, I make sure I walk in with a bulletproof business case”, one panellist shared.

If nothing else, think about the “3Ps” before going into a negotiation: People, Process, Preparation.

This includes researching the opposite party, their interests, priorities and quirks, including everything you could use to connect to them on a personal level.

Remember: By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. Nothing makes you more confident in your negotiation than solid preparation and it’s not just the matter at hand, but the person and process just as much.

4. Be proactive about rapport-building

“We went into a negotiation where a colleague saw a former team member and suddenly became MUCH too cooperative”, one panellist shared. A personal connection can go a long way, so be sure to have it working FOR you, not against you.

Creating rapport with the other side can make or break a deal and we often underestimate the power of sharing a meal or connecting over a coffee.

“Many of our mediations get settled over a coffee outside the mediation room. Yet, parties spend too much time preparing their arguments, and not enough time on how to create rapport with the other side. We are more likely to get a “yes” if we establish a positive relationship, get them to listen, and get through to them if we build a personal connection”, another panellist added.

Remember: People want to say “yes” to people they like. Showing up with a genuine effort to make a good deal for both sides and building trust and rapport goes a long way.

5. Identify all competing interests and sequence negotiations strategically

“The CEO said we need this strategic deal closed as soon as possible”, one panellist shared. Many in the audience could relate to this narrow focus on a single interest.  However, the negotiation team consisting of multiple stakeholders raised other competing interests (e.g. the price, the ability to integrate the software into the organization, the ability to fit the client’s needs, etc.)

The negotiation was split into two steps, first an investment and second a potential buyout. Because the negotiation of the two steps took time, it gave the other stakeholders time to highlight competing interests with the CEO, complete further diligence, and eventually determine that the deal need not meet all the required interests.

During this process, the team had regular updates with the CEO to bring her along the journey confirming the additional interests, identifying the various diligence issues, and ultimately agreeing not to move forward with the deal.

Remember: Initial management statements are not always the full picture.  Competing interests need to be surfaced and addressed as early as possible. It is important to strategically sequence the negotiation to provide time to fully vet and analyse interests. Finally, it is important to bring stakeholders along on this journey.

And one more pro tip I loved to take away: One of the panellists worked with a partner in Peru who had a special restaurant “negotiation move”. Upon arrival, he would hand the waiter a 100$ note and a 20$ upfront tip and say “Bring me what you would have for 100$”. This generosity, trust advance and flexibility often gets him off menu items, the freshest ingredients and a spread of a meal well beyond the investment. Small moves of establishing rapport, being vulnerable and giving a trust advance in daily negotiations can go a long way.

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about. 

The Secret Negotiation Power of a strong Network – And how to get started if you hate Networking

Negotiation & Networking – Why?

“Your network is your net worth” they say.

As a negotiator, I see network building as part of my ongoing negotiation pre-work. Every negotiation starts LONG before you enter it, and your personal network and personal brand are pure bargaining power.

Let me explain: The reasons we are often having trouble to hold firm when negotiating your fees or salary is because we don’t having a strong network or strong personal brand – i.e. no strong walkaway point with lots of other opportunities knocking on our door (what negotiators call a “BATNA” – Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement).

The network that you build, my friend, is negotiation power. In other words: You will be confident to charge what you are worth because you are not coming from a mindset of scarcity where you must convert any client because you don’t know when the next one walks into the door. Rather, having a powerful network and personal brand gives you the confidence to know that if this opportunity doesn’t work out, another one will soon come your way. So you have no issue holding firm at charging for the value you add. BATNA 101!

The stronger your Network, the stronger your Bargaining Power.

TLDR: Network = Bargaining Power

Thus, networking is this month’s topic on Negotiation Nuggets!

“I hate Networking.”

9 out of 10 people will agree with that statement when I ask in my workshops. People hate the notion of networking. Or mostly the way most of us think about networking;

  • “It’s awkward, what should I even talk about?“
  • “It feels sleazy and transactional.“
  • “Why would this (senior) person even be interested in me?“

In our brains, networking has squarely placed itself as this utilitarian, self-focused exercise we have to do because someone told us so.

Reframing is key!

Less than 10% of hands in any given room go up when I ask “Do you like networking?“.

But here is the twist: That percentage increases to over 60-80% when I ask “Do you like to meet people?“.

Ha, interesting!

You might have heard people telling you “Networking is just about making friends.” And they would have been right! In fact, here are five powerful mantras I want you to print and take with you anywhere you go. Believe in these firmly and I promise you will be a new person when you go to networking events, enjoying the people you meet, creating real value and establishing true friendships that serve you as a network for life (and you them!)

Your 5 New Networking Mantras

Mantra 1: “I don‘t want anything from you.”

The reasons networking feels sleazy, transactional and awkward is because we feel like we need to go out and use networking as a way to sell ourselves or our services. STOP that in its tracks! You are not out there to sell anything. Except maybe yourself as an intriguing person to hang out with!

As lawyers, we don’t sell products. In the professional services industry, people buy people. So, all you need to do is be an interesting person who shows they care. You don’t need or want to sell anything!

Mantra 2: “I want to help YOU succeed.”

Not only do you not want anything from them, but you are first and foremost out there to help others succeed. This is counterintuitive at first. Like telling a soccer player to pass the ball to the other team. But hear me out. The best networkers are basically going around doing favours all day long. When I asked a friend of mine who is in charge of expanding the business of a large regional law firm to APAC and the Middle East how he does it, he replied “I am basically going around doing favours and making people happy all day. Recommendation for the best cold cuts in Singapore? Here you go. Best paediatric allergist? Number sent. Need an internship for your son? Let me send an Email. French cheese importer in Saudi? Let me link you up!“

Another example that you might find slightly crazy: I am currently working with a large US law firm who is looking for negotiation training in APAC. They like my proposal, but L&D wants to offer their teams multiple trainers as options (having options is always good!). When they came back to me and confided “We haven’t found any other providers who do what you do” I went on to help them research some alternative provides, aka my competitors (!!), offering to help them screen for the best match. What matters to me is that they find their best match. If they are happy, I am happy. And I am memorable. Networking is a game in the long run. First, you need to cultivate relationships that are based on mutual support. And drop the scarcity mindset!

 

“You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Zig Ziglar

 

Mantra 3: “I am an interesting, interested person.”

When we are young, we often struggle to see why other people might be interested in us. We are quick to believe that people are only interested in other people of the same status.

I was lucky to learn the very opposite very early on. When I was a young student in law school, I helped organize a conference for European Union law. One of the participants was the back then President of the European Court of Justice, Vassilios Skouris. The Dean of my university made sure that President Skouris was constantly paraded in the spotlight. But Vassilios wasn’t that kind of person. I think he secretly hated it. At the final gala dinner, he came to sit next to me with us students at the back of the room. I panicked. What could I possibly say to this guy that he could find interesting? My fear was all wrong! We ended up chatting about his childhood in Greece, his children, and how he made his way from simple upbringings all the way to the ECJ. I learned a lot that day!

When you are young, you give passion. As you get older, you give expertise. That is enough!

Mantra 4: “You are an interesting person.”

Likewise, we need to search for the interesting things that could connect us to the other person. In my business development & brand building workshops, I do an exercise that invites people to write down their unique hobbies and strength. Then they share it with their neighbour. Something incredible happens when people start sharing. More often than not one of them will say in the debrief “I had no idea I had such fascinating colleagues in the office!“. Everyone has something fascinating about them. We just have to offer honest curiosity to bring it out and let them share. And maybe we find some common connection points on the way!

Mantra 5: “We are MEANT to connect.”

They say if you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together. People are meant to connect. We are not islands. Value always comes from collaboration. We are better together.

If you walk up to somebody with a big smile and say “Hey, I don’t believe we’ve met, my name is Claudia” you are basically communicating “Hey, we are meant to meet. I am an interesting person, you are an interesting person, let’s see how we can add value to each other“. Mindset is everything when you connect with others!

Abundance over scarcity, giving over taking, listening over speaking and you will radiate all the right vibes for people to like you instantly.

Apply these 5 mantras rigorously, and you will see the bad smell of networking completely disappearing!

Seek to add value and seek to make connections and you will set yourself up for a network beyond anything you’ve ever thought imaginable!

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

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