7 Steps for Leading any Client Meeting like a Pro – Even with no Preparation or Experience

A simple framework and universal tools you can use to make you look instantly more professional.

 

This Negotiation Nugget shares the exact 7-step framework we teach at The Negotiation Academy LLC and how the included building blocks help you radiate confidence and professionalism in any client meeting.

Client Interview and Client Counseling Framework and Steps

 

Let’s look at how using the framework and tools of these 7 steps can turn you into a master meeting host who exudes confidence, experience, and expertise:

1. Small Talk

The first few minutes set the tone of your work together. Make sure you show an interest in the person, engage in some small talk to create a personal connection, and make them feel comfortable and special. The better you connect, the easier your conversation will be and the more they trust and respect you. Arriving early and having prepared topics to talk about go a long way!

2. Agenda

This is your first step in controlling the conversation and making the client feel safe by radiating experience and gravitas. “Agenda” is a big word. In most conversations, you just need a few sentences about how the meeting is going to go. This can be very generic and without preparation. Even without an idea what the client will want to talk about you can already shine. Adapt a version of this:

(finishing small talk..) Okay so here is what I suggest we do to make the most of our time: Why don’t you first tell me what brings you here today/why don’t you update me on what new developments there have been since we last met/why don’t you fill me in on your perspective of what is happening to give me a fuller picture than what I have from having read the written documents. While you do, I will be taking some notes to make sure I don’t miss anything and after you are done I will surely have some questions. Then we can discuss some options and see how I could help you. Lastly, we will discuss the next steps, what it would look like if we work together, and what the fee arrangement looks like in our firm. Does that work for you?”

These are just sample elements, but do you see what this does when you start with something like this? It makes you sound amazing! Prepared, knowledgeable, experienced, and in the driver’s seat! First impressions matter, and this little opener together with your small talk will put the conversation on a promising track.

3. Client Narrative

Next, it is time to zip it and hand it over to your client. “Okay, why don’t you get us started?”. Your main job here is to NOT interrupt (I mean it, listen as if your life depended on it)!

We are all guilty of interrupting much more than we care to admit. An important question comes to mind, a reference to some other success that offers itself, a comparison, or our own experience. Research shows that this is a big no-go with severe adverse effects on your learning about the case and the relationship with the client.

Studies in a patient-doctor context show that interruptions of all kinds (questions or statements or completing their sentences) result in significantly less accurate diagnoses and less successful treatment. In 94% of interruptions, the physician ended up taking over the conversation, never returning to what the patient wanted to say at that time (now you know how I chose my doctors..).

4. Summary

This is the key moment to show how well you listen and understand your client: You summarize what they said. E.g. “Let me make sure I have got everything. So you are saying …” (summarize it all). Then you end with “Am I missing anything?“

Summarizing is a pro communicator power tool with 360° benefits for you and the client:

  • You are forced to listen better and can confirm that you have truly understood.
  • The client feels truly heard and appreciated (“Got it” does not do that job! Look at your client’s eyes lightening up when you actually summarize what they said!)
  • You sort your client’s thoughts and structure them for yourself and them.

This summary can already be the structure for the next steps in your conversation. E.g. “ .. I hear that we will need to talk about employment issues, incorporation, and data privacy. Shall we start with data privacy?”

5. Questions and Details / Counseling

Only now comes the actual legal talk. Starting with e.g. that Data Privacy topic, now is the time to ask your follow-up and detail questions and walk the client through their options like you always do.

6. Summary of Goals, Interests and Priorities

Towards the end, there needs to be another round of summaries that focus specifically on client goals. You know, that “client interest focus” that every firm has on their website, this is where you walk the talk! Find out what is truly driving the person on the table.

  • What are their most important goals and priorities?
  • What does this situation mean to them?
  • How does it impact their business?

As negotiators, we know that people will always bring us positions, but what they really care about are interests. This summary makes sure you dig for those before suggesting any action.

7. Next Steps & Fees

To wrap it up, have a small summary of what will happen next. Who is sending what to whom by when.

Fees: If the situation requires, plan to take a moment to explain fees. Most importantly: Own the topic! Don’t wait until the client needs to put themselves into an uncomfortable position to ask “how about fees?”. Because a) you don’t want the client to have to do that, and b) YOU don’t want to be caught on the back foot! Discussing fees is uncomfortable for 99% of people.. (or at least that is my impression in our trainings :D). The moment the client asks for fees, even the smoothest client interviews take a massive turn for the awkward with lawyers suddenly going “aaaah, well, usually, we, aah, do hourly rates, but we can also, aehm, see if we can maybe ahm do a package.. “

How comfortable would you be in hiring an attorney to represent your financial interest if they cannot represent their own? You and I know this might be independent, but the last impression and aura of confidence are certainly taking a hit.

So instead, prepare to mention fees yourself. This again shows that you are a confident and experienced professional (and you can keep it short and practice what you want to say beforehand 🙂

Summing up, print the 7 steps and focus on these four key takeaways for any client meeting:

  1. Be proactive in using small talk.
  2. Start with a small “agenda” to look extra routined.
  3. Keep summarizing to show your competence and make the client feel heard.
  4. Ensure that you drill down to what really matters to your client.

Try it out and let me know how it goes!

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

 

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

Creating Rapport – Even with people you can’t stand

A few years ago, I was meant to interview James Corden (carpool karaoke anyone?) at a business conference in Los Angeles. I had prepared all my witty introductions, clever questions about his negotiation habits, and more. It was going to be great.

About an hour before the interview, the conference organizers told me that James wasn’t coming because his wife had to go to the hospital and that I was going to be on the stage with Charlie Sheen instead. I froze.

While I had been a big fan of Two and a Half Men as a teenager, the things he has been known for since triggered everything but positive feelings in me for this person.

I panicked. What should I say to this man whose behavior and reputation I wanted nothing to do with?

Once I had moved past my initial shock, I looked at the advice I give to negotiators who are faced with a counterpart they do not like or get along with well:

 

Look for commonalities and things you can appreciate, no matter how small.

 

I thought long and hard. Did we have anything in common?? I didn’t think so.

But eventually, I found something. It was risky and cheeky. But I figured risky and cheeky was exactly what this situation called for.

 

You can see how nervous I was.

But it worked!

We got a big laugh from the 2,500 people staring at us in anticipation.

To this day, I still can’t believe I said this to him. But he was a good sport, and it sure did break the ice, got us going with a laugh, and made the audience comfortable. And I could take it from there.

 

In a negotiation, you cannot allow your personal feelings to influence your chances of getting a good deal.

 

Here are the two tips I have for negotiators who find themselves with a counterpart they are having difficulty connecting with:

 

  1. Find something about them that you can appreciate

This can be hard – but try harder! There has to be something about that person that you can relate to, that is good, that is a silver lining. Nobody is all evil. It could be things they have done in the past (Two and Half Men was pretty cool when I was a teenager) or something where taking their perspective helps you appreciate why they might act the way they are acting.

Say you are negotiating with a counterpart who seems to have all kinds of unreasonable demands that they are trying to push. Try to imagine the kind of pressure they might be getting from their firm, partner, or client. Then articulate it. Say something like “I was just thinking about this case last night and how tricky it must be on your side as well having to deal with all these conflicting and ever-changing interests“. The way you say that matters! Not as a tactic, not condescending, but with true empathy for the situation. This won’t change your entire relationship, but it can go a long way in building a bridge to the other person.

Or say your flight gets cancelled and everyone is rushing to the counter to rebook. The staff is overwhelmed and passengers are impatient. Try for yourself what difference it will make if you approach them with a smile and honest appreciation of what they are trying to do and how hard their job is at the moment. An authentic  “wow, I’ve been watching you from the back for a while and I am so impressed with what grace you are handling this stressful situation” can change your encounter with that person (and your chances for an upgrade 😉 by 180 degrees!

Frenemies posing post-interview =)

     2. Find commonalities

Like in my Charlie Sheen situation, it can be hard to find commonalities with people you don’t like. We may also not want to. “I have nothing in common with this person“, was the first thing I noticed myself thinking. If we don’t like someone, the last thing we want to think is that we have anything in common.

But chances are that we do! So, if a poor relationship with someone is getting in the way, look out for them. I have seen people who do not speak with each other suddenly bond over the most random things! Like their love for durian (a smelly and very polarizing fruit in Asia), or their passion for fine wines where suddenly they can one-up each other (hey, at least they are talking), or their daughters both being semi-professional air rifle shooters training for the Olympics (until last week I had no idea that was even a competitive sport!). From my examples, you see that the more rare the commonality, the stronger the connection. So look for these!

I truly believe that whoever it is, no matter how “bad” the situation or connection, if you are determined, you can always find something.

And it may not always work or succeed in improving the relationship on the first attempt. But without giving it a try, you have already given up.

Not trying means that you have given away your power to make a positive contribution to that relationship and the possible deal or benefit that can come out of it.

To your negotiation success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

 

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

How your love or hate for negotiations influences your outcome. And what to do about it.

One question I ask at the beginning of almost every single one of my workshops is: “Do you enjoy negotiating?”

Having asked this question to over 5,000 people on five continents, across many professions and cultures, I am finally no longer surprised by the typical answers I get.

On average, only about 10–20% of people raise their hands (or click “yes” in our anonymous online poll). Yes, even professionals who negotiate every day! Yes, even in cultures where bargaining is life! I know.. I was shocked at first too!

Apart from curiosity, there is a deeper reason I ask this question.

With negotiations, it is much like with public speaking. If you hate public speaking, if it makes you nervous, if you dread being on that stage, you will likely not radiate confidence and give a very persuasive presentation. More likely, your inner discomfort will make you talk as fast as possible and do everything to get off that stage as quickly as you can.

The same goes for negotiations. If you are not comfortable with the process of negotiating (or at least comfortable with the fact that you are uncomfortable), your default reaction will be to get you out of this situation as quickly as possible. You are therefore much more likely to take a less optimal deal just to escape the situation.

Now think about this: If, on the other side of that negotiation, you happen to have someone who enjoys negotiating, guess what their default reaction to the situation will be. They will make themselves comfortable in their chair! They love it and are ready to do this all day long.

Guess who is getting the better deal?

The second person!

Without even considering negotiation position, skill, or strategy, the latter person already has an advantage by the sheer fact that they are comfortable in the situation.

And more: They will learn more from the situation. Because experience only translates into expertise if we analyze and consciously work on our skills.

I learned French for 8 years at school. And to this day, I can barely order a croissant. Your guess, how much I enjoyed the process of it 😀

What can you do if you want to become more comfortable negotiating?

Negotiation is like a muscle. It only grows with conscious training. Saying I am a bad negotiator without having worked on my negotiation skills is like saying I cannot lift weights without ever having stepped foot in a gym.

You need two things:

1. Learn a proper framework

Just starting to lift weights can be dangerous. You can hurt yourself, learn the wrong routines, and not see the best results. Anyone serious about lifting would first get a trainer. Negotiations are similar. You don’t need very much, but you do need to understand the fundamentals. Collaborative vs. competitive negotiation, how to create value, how to bargain, and how to ask good questions. See if your company offers a course or take one online (there is everything from free on Coursera to mid-range on Udemy to high-end by Harvard and consorts; we have a few specially designed for lawyers hereas well).

2. Put the skills and frameworks to conscious use

Negotiation is a muscle. It grows only with practice. The bad news is that this takes time. The good news is that you can practice anywhere.

Moving house, signing a new phone contract, insurance products, banking, buying clothes, picking a caterer, hiring a swim coach, painting the house, fixing the car, deadlines with your colleagues, task distribution with your boss, salary, vacation days, etc. I bet your day has at least five negotiation opportunities, probably ten times that!

Why do we not utilize these opportunities more? A lot of times we

a) don’t notice that we are in a negotiation or

b) can’t be bothered to negotiate.

“Claudia, I don’t want to bargain about every single small thing.” “I can’t be bothered.” “I feel silly.“

You don’t have to. But this is how you will learn to get comfortable. Because if you are not comfortable asking for the thing you want or the discount you would like in your daily low-stake interaction with the lady at the market, how do you expect to be comfortable negotiating high-stakes matters with the lady who runs your company? 😉

When I was young, I used to hate to bargain or ask for things for myself. I thought it was cheap, inappropriate or a waste of time. Gender expectations further exacerbate the notion of “don’t ask anything for yourself“.

But I love to lift weights. So the moment I understood how similar the success journeys of these two skills are and that in each case it is a learned skill that only grows with practice, I started taking daily situations as serious negotiation practice. The rest is history.

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

 

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

“Cognitive Dissonance” – The key to getting your way with people in negotiations

What you will learn today: how being appreciative of the person on the other side helps you get what you want; how to create “cognitive dissonance”; how to balance being soft on the person and hard on the problem

The 2nd pillar of the Harvard win-win principles talks about “being soft on the people, yet hard on the problem“.

Very logical, no?

I’ll admit, I had no idea how to practically go about that when I first heard it many years ago 😀

Okay yes, makes sense in theory, but what does this mean? How do you do that? What does it feel and sound like?

To this day, more than 10 years later, I have still only met a handful of people who truly excel at this. But those who do seem to get everything they want. It is that powerful!

“Soft on the person, hard on the problem”

The very first time I saw this skill in action was when I stood behind my friend’s wife who made a phone call to Macy’s (a US department store) to complain about a late and wrong delivery of a trench coat she needed urgently for a friend’s birthday. She was now asking that Macy’s send her the right item overnight express at their expense.

Imagine you stand behind her as she is making her call. This is what it sounded like (try to fake an American accent and read this out loud if you can for dramatic effect, then tell me what you noticed)

Yes, hello, hi Dorothy, how are you .. Fine thank you.. Listen, Dorothy, I need to file a complaint about my last delivery again, ..  yes, the coat was delivered in the wrong size ANOTHER time – I am VERY frustrated right now … mhm.. mhm , I understand Dorothy, and I am so sorry you are getting the end of this but this is unacceptable and I need to have that replaced ASAP and no time to walk to the post office! Again, I am so sorry Dorothy this is coming to you.. .. how can that even happen, it’s been delivered wrong ANOTHER time after I had already complained last week?!  … Again, Dorothy I know you have nothing to do with this and I am sorry you are getting the end of it but I am really frustrated with the service your company has provided there … yes, okay, thanks so much Dorothy for helping me resolve this … No I definitely need to have this sent over-night express now to have it in time for my friends birthday. And I certainly would appreciate a good discount for the hassle I had to go through twice now. .. Okay, okay that sounds good, .. Alright, thanks so much Dorothy for helping out and being so nice. You’re the best, thanks a lot, really, take care… . You too, you too, bye.

Did you hear what she did? “Thank you so much, Dorothy, I am so sorry you are getting the end of this”. “No, I definitely need to have this sent overnight express” “This is unacceptable service” “Dorothy you’re the best, take care”

She is extra friendly and appreciative to the person, saying thank you and sorry, using her name, changing her tone of voice when she talks to her, but at the same time asking in a determined way for what she needs and expressing her frustration. She is soft and supportive of the person, and hard on the problem – at the same time.

This is a brilliant strategy that you should use in any negotiation:

1) They are not expecting you to be nice and demanding at the same time and that throws them off balance a little – leaving you at an advantage.

2) This duality creates cognitive dissonance for them because their mind wants to classify you as “friend or foe” so it knows how to react. But it can’t because every time you say something nice you follow up with a serious demand, again followed by something nice. So that catches people off guard.

3) AND it triggers their need for reciprocity. Humans are primed to reciprocate the behaviour they are faced with. We are kind to people who are kind to us, and unkind to people who are unkind to us. If you are supportive and kind to them while also being hard and demanding on the substance they are torn about what to do. And often they feel like they must give back on the kindness that you give them.

Try it out, it is not only a more comfortable but also a more successful way to negotiate!

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

 

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

Give yourself negotiation power with an ambitious Goal & ZOPA – Part 2/3

Today you will learn: How to set a goal price in a negotiation – How researching and pushing the other side’s limit gets you the best deal – How analyzing the ZOPA (Zone of Possible Agreement) helps you avoid losing millions over your career

In this three-part series, we focus on how you secure the biggest piece of the pie and share the three key numbers you need to prepare for any monetary negotiation.

In Part 1 you saw how you need to set your Limit Price with the help of your BATNA (see here if you missed it).

This week, let’s talk about the 2nd Number: the Goal Price

Your second number to prepare in distributive negotiation is your goal. This number should be higher than the limit (if you are the seller/claimant) or lower than your limit (if you are the buyer/defendant).

How do you set a goal?

Some basics: It should be optimistic, yet realistic, specific and well-researched but as high/low as you can possibly dream to get. Remember, in life and in negotiations, higher goals achieve objectively higher outcomes.

There are 2 ways to set your goal:

A. Use your best objective criteria to calculate what might be the best possible deal.

B. Or even better: Push to THEIR limit price. Even the best objective criteria vanish in comparison to a good “guesstimate” of what THEIR limit (i.e. alternative) is. Because it can help you grab the biggest part of the “ZOPA”

ZOPA – What is that?

ZOPA is the Zone of Possible Agreement. It is the overlap between the limit prices of both sides. Any rational deal MUST happen in this zone. Whoever manages to push the deal closer to the limit of the other side has taken the bigger piece of the pie.

Here is a graphic of the ZOPA between the buyer of a house who has set their limit to 580k (let’s say they have an alternative house to buy at that price) and the seller who has set their limit to 500k (let’s say they already have an offer for that).

ZOPA – Zone of Possible Agreement

The ZOPA is therefore between 500k – 580k.

All deals will happen in this zone. Whoever manages to push the deal closer to the limit of the other side has taken the bigger piece of the pie.

What does this mean for our goal-setting?

The best goal price is the one that is as close to their limit as possible.

Will we usually know the (exact) limit (i.e. alternative) of the other side? Unlikely.

But we can do our best to do as much research as possible to find out about it (see example of a salary negotiation below).

Since people don’t spend time doing that research they set suboptimal goals and therefore end up with suboptimal deals.

Watch this video for more details and an example of how to calculate the ZOPA:

 

BONUS EXAMPLE SALARY NEGOTIATION

Here is a practical example: A university professor came to me to help him prepare for a salary negotiation with the dean for a new position. The job post had stated 70,000 for the job (the minimum salary, as required to be publicised by law). To prepare for the negotiation I asked him to research the average salary for this position. He came back with 80-100k. So then we started thinking: “What do we think is the absolute maximum the dean could give? Where is his limit?”. We decided it would probably be 100k. So this is where he set his negotiation goal, at 100k. He started out asking for 120k and ended up with an offer for 96k.

Without this thought process, he may have set his goal at 90k.. Which is “already 20k more than the post”. He might have started with asking 90k. Which then would usually get him around 80-85k. 10-15k less a year (or more than half a million over his remaining career years.. Even without any other promotions or adjustments.

In short: Don’t use this framework and it can cost you millions over the course of your career.

Keep Negotiating! And have a goal when you do!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

Next Topic: Part 3 – Your opening price. How to anchor in a negotiation to significantly sway the numbers your way.

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

 

Give yourself negotiation power with Limit Price & BATNA – Part 1/3

Give yourself negotiation power with Limit Price & BATNA – Part 1/3

Today you will learn: Setting your Limit Price – Calculating your BATNA – Knowing the exact point when to leave a negotiation (with video example for calculating your BATNA in a court case).

There are 2 key forms of negotiation:

1) Collaborative Negotiation (aka Harvard win-win)

2) Competitive / Distributive Negotiation (aka Bargaining)

The best negotiators master both forms and know how to integrate them by first growing the pie with win-win strategies and then securing the bigger piece of the pie with distributive negotiation strategies.

This month I want to focus on how you secure the biggest piece of the pie and share the three key numbersyou need to prepare for any monetary (=distributive) negotiation.

  1. Limit price
  2. Goal Price
  3. Opener

These numbers are so key, that the GC of a Fortune 500 company I work with tells his managers to not even knock on his door before they have them hashed out. And it takes them a day, sometimes two, to do just that. So take good note!

Let’s dive in and talk about the first one, the Limit Price.

Your Limit Price is best determined by your BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement). BATNA is the answer to the question “What will I do if this deal/negotiation tanks?” This needs to be specific! Not just “I’ll just get another job” or “We will acquire another business” or “We will just take it to court if we cannot settle” but which job, for how much, when, under what terms, what is a likely outcome in court?

This always needs to be a specific number! Yes, even and especially going to court! The below video excerpt from our Master Negotiator Course shows how to calculate your BATNA in a business dispute lawsuit.

The bottom line is: The more specific your alternative and the more you work on improving it, the greater your negotiation power.

Knowing your BATNA is critical because it is your walkaway point. Too many times, people overpay or undercharge because in the heat of the negotiation, due to poor preparation, or due to the length of the negotiations (sunk cost principle) they do not realize they would have gotten a better deal somewhere else.

Sometimes the best deal is no deal. You have to know where that walkaway point is for your situation to apply it, regardless of whether this is a settlement negotiation, your salary, a new home or any other purchase or business contract.

Improve your BATNA – give yourself negotiation power!

Keep Negotiating!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

Next Topic: Goal Price. How “let’s do the best we can” NEVER gets you the best you can – setting ambitious goals in negotiations.

PS: Book recommendation for German lawyers who want to dive deeper: Jörg Risse: Prozessrisikoanalyse: Erfolgsaussichten vor Gericht bestimmen. Highly recommend!

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.
Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.