Negotiation Goals Archives | The Negotiation Academy

Creating and Capturing Value in Negotiations as In House Counsel

70% of in-house counsel said they negotiate “daily” or “all the time” when polled at the recent ACC (Association of Corporate Counsel) APAC Annual Conference where I spoke with my dear colleagues Terry D. Thornley, General Counsel APAC Spencer Stuart, Nathalia Lossovska, Head of Legal, APAC Willis Tower Watson, and Wee Meng Chuan, CEO of the Singapore International Mediation Centre.

Yet at the same time, only 30% feel adequately equipped with skills and tools to optimize their results.

Building on these all-too-common statistics, my co-panellists and I shared some of the most effective negotiation approaches and common mistakes. This post summarizes the top 5 learnings and stories for in-house counsel to take away for their daily work, and one that you can use for your personal gourmet adventures around the world 😊

1. Uncover the true interests of the other party

Imagine a common contracting issue: A successful architect sues a developer for unpaid fees on a project he had worked on but because of a dispute was not able to finish. To add insult to injury, after his removal from the project, the developer submitted the development for a design competition and won. But the name of the original architect had been removed. Sting!

It was only in Mediation, a process of facilitated negotiation that uses the help of a neutral third person, that the parties discovered that this sting, not the money, was the main driver for the architect’s claim. With the architect’s name back on the project, the developer went on to compete in a second competition, and the deal was sealed. A win-win also for the developer, who submits his project with the name of this famous architect.

Remember: Positions are what the other side will tell you, e.g. suing for money. Interests are what they are really after, e.g. recognition and reputation here. But you have to build trust with the other side and dig deeper to find out about these!

2. Uncover the real power of your alternatives

A supplier with the contractual obligation to deliver a specific gearbox part to you suddenly demands a 20% price increase, or they will stop delivering next quarter. Your business chiefs try to negotiate, but the supplier won’t budge. Fronts are hard. So the chiefs come running to you. “Enforce this contract with full steam.”

The situation looks dire: Failing further deliveries, your plant of 5,000 people will stand still within as little as 2 months. A positive outcome of a lawsuit is far from guaranteed under the current market conditions with the supplier claiming all kinds of hardship. And even IF you win, enforcement will never be fast enough to keep your plant running. You may have a contractual right – but no power to force the other side to deliver. In Negotiator terms: Your BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement, aka Plan B) is weak. That is wrong. It’s horrible.

Once in-house counsel in this case had analysed the full picture of the situation, only one real alternative emerged, and it was not “enforcing with full steam”. The company had to get back to the negotiation table if they wanted to rescue this.

Reopening stalled negotiations and finding common ground was not an easy task, but paid off when they found out that the supplier’s main shareholder wanted to get rid of this unprofitable part of the business. Together they found a buyer who agreed to purchase the business unit and the client offered a longer contract with minimum quantities as a guarantee. The plant keeps running. The supplier also achieved their goal of selling.

Remember: When the business comes to you and shouts for “enforcement” and “getting their rights”, make sure you take a step back and analyse your alternatives (BATNA) and the most likely outcome to achieve the actual business needs behind it. As mentioned in point #1, people will come with their positions. Your job is to find their interests and get them the corresponding results.

3. Prepare – prepare – prepare

“80% of negotiation success is determined before you enter the negotiation”. Internal negotiations are no different. “When negotiating for headcount and budgeting in the firm, I make sure I walk in with a bulletproof business case”, one panellist shared.

If nothing else, think about the “3Ps” before going into a negotiation: People, Process, Preparation.

This includes researching the opposite party, their interests, priorities and quirks, including everything you could use to connect to them on a personal level.

Remember: By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. Nothing makes you more confident in your negotiation than solid preparation and it’s not just the matter at hand, but the person and process just as much.

4. Be proactive about rapport-building

“We went into a negotiation where a colleague saw a former team member and suddenly became MUCH too cooperative”, one panellist shared. A personal connection can go a long way, so be sure to have it working FOR you, not against you.

Creating rapport with the other side can make or break a deal and we often underestimate the power of sharing a meal or connecting over a coffee.

“Many of our mediations get settled over a coffee outside the mediation room. Yet, parties spend too much time preparing their arguments, and not enough time on how to create rapport with the other side. We are more likely to get a “yes” if we establish a positive relationship, get them to listen, and get through to them if we build a personal connection”, another panellist added.

Remember: People want to say “yes” to people they like. Showing up with a genuine effort to make a good deal for both sides and building trust and rapport goes a long way.

5. Identify all competing interests and sequence negotiations strategically

“The CEO said we need this strategic deal closed as soon as possible”, one panellist shared. Many in the audience could relate to this narrow focus on a single interest. However, the negotiation team consisting of multiple stakeholders raised other competing interests (e.g. the price, the ability to integrate the software into the organization, the ability to fit the client’s needs, etc.)

The negotiation was split into two steps, first an investment and second a potential buyout. Because the negotiation of the two steps took time, it gave the other stakeholders time to highlight competing interests with the CEO, complete further diligence, and eventually determine that the deal need not meet all the required interests.

During this process, the team had regular updates with the CEO to bring her along the journey confirming the additional interests, identifying the various diligence issues, and ultimately agreeing not to move forward with the deal.

Remember: Initial management statements are not always the full picture. Competing interests need to be surfaced and addressed as early as possible. It is important to strategically sequence the negotiation to provide time to fully vet and analyse interests. Finally, it is important to bring stakeholders along on this journey.

And one more pro tip I loved to take away: One of the panellists worked with a partner in Peru who had a special restaurant “negotiation move”. Upon arrival, he would hand the waiter a 100$ note and a 20$ upfront tip and say “Bring me what you would have for 100$”. This generosity, trust advance and flexibility often gets him off menu items, the freshest ingredients and a spread of a meal well beyond the investment. Small moves of establishing rapport, being vulnerable and giving a trust advance in daily negotiations can go a long way.

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Each week, you will get a bite-size email unpacking some of the most fundamental negotiation concepts that you can apply in your everyday negotiations, along with an insight video and book recommendation to go further in areas you want to learn more about.

The Secret Negotiation Power of a strong Network – And how to get started if you hate Networking

Negotiation & Networking – Why?

“Your network is your net worth” they say.

As a negotiator, I see network building as part of my ongoing negotiation pre-work. Every negotiation starts LONG before you enter it, and your personal network and personal brand are pure bargaining power.

Let me explain: The reasons we are often having trouble to hold firm when negotiating your fees or salary is because we don’t having a strong network or strong personal brand – i.e. no strong walkaway point with lots of other opportunities knocking on our door (what negotiators call a “BATNA” – Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement).

The network that you build, my friend, is negotiation power. In other words: You will be confident to charge what you are worth because you are not coming from a mindset of scarcity where you must convert any client because you don’t know when the next one walks into the door. Rather, having a powerful network and personal brand gives you the confidence to know that if this opportunity doesn’t work out, another one will soon come your way. So you have no issue holding firm at charging for the value you add. BATNA 101!

The stronger your Network, the stronger your Bargaining Power.

TLDR: Network = Bargaining Power

Thus, networking is this month’s topic on Negotiation Nuggets!

“I hate Networking.”

9 out of 10 people will agree with that statement when I ask in my workshops. People hate the notion of networking. Or mostly the way most of us think about networking;

“It’s awkward, what should I even talk about?“
“It feels sleazy and transactional.“
“Why would this (senior) person even be interested in me?“

In our brains, networking has squarely placed itself as this utilitarian, self-focused exercise we have to do because someone told us so.

Reframing is key!

Less than 10% of hands in any given room go up when I ask “Do you like networking?“.

But here is the twist: That percentage increases to over 60-80% when I ask “Do you like to meet people?“.

Ha, interesting!

You might have heard people telling you “Networking is just about making friends.” And they would have been right! In fact, here are five powerful mantras I want you to print and take with you anywhere you go. Believe in these firmly and I promise you will be a new person when you go to networking events, enjoying the people you meet, creating real value and establishing true friendships that serve you as a network for life (and you them!)

Your 5 New Networking Mantras

Mantra 1: “I don‘t want anything from you.”

The reasons networking feels sleazy, transactional and awkward is because we feel like we need to go out and use networking as a way to sell ourselves or our services. STOP that in its tracks! You are not out there to sell anything. Except maybe yourself as an intriguing person to hang out with!

As lawyers, we don’t sell products. In the professional services industry, people buy people. So, all you need to do is be an interesting person who shows they care. You don’t need or want to sell anything!

Mantra 2: “I want to help YOU succeed.”

Not only do you not want anything from them, but you are first and foremost out there to help others succeed. This is counterintuitive at first. Like telling a soccer player to pass the ball to the other team. But hear me out. The best networkers are basically going around doing favours all day long. When I asked a friend of mine who is in charge of expanding the business of a large regional law firm to APAC and the Middle East how he does it, he replied “I am basically going around doing favours and making people happy all day. Recommendation for the best cold cuts in Singapore? Here you go. Best paediatric allergist? Number sent. Need an internship for your son? Let me send an Email. French cheese importer in Saudi? Let me link you up!“

Another example that you might find slightly crazy: I am currently working with a large US law firm who is looking for negotiation training in APAC. They like my proposal, but L&D wants to offer their teams multiple trainers as options (having options is always good!). When they came back to me and confided “We haven’t found any other providers who do what you do” I went on to help them research some alternative provides, aka my competitors (!!), offering to help them screen for the best match. What matters to me is that they find their best match. If they are happy, I am happy. And I am memorable. Networking is a game in the long run. First, you need to cultivate relationships that are based on mutual support. And drop the scarcity mindset!

“You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Zig Ziglar

Mantra 3: “I am an interesting, interested person.”

When we are young, we often struggle to see why other people might be interested in us. We are quick to believe that people are only interested in other people of the same status.

I was lucky to learn the very opposite very early on. When I was a young student in law school, I helped organize a conference for European Union law. One of the participants was the back then President of the European Court of Justice, Vassilios Skouris. The Dean of my university made sure that President Skouris was constantly paraded in the spotlight. But Vassilios wasn’t that kind of person. I think he secretly hated it. At the final gala dinner, he came to sit next to me with us students at the back of the room. I panicked. What could I possibly say to this guy that he could find interesting? My fear was all wrong! We ended up chatting about his childhood in Greece, his children, and how he made his way from simple upbringings all the way to the ECJ. I learned a lot that day!

When you are young, you give passion. As you get older, you give expertise. That is enough!

Mantra 4: “You are an interesting person.”

Likewise, we need to search for the interesting things that could connect us to the other person. In my business development & brand building workshops, I do an exercise that invites people to write down their unique hobbies and strength. Then they share it with their neighbour. Something incredible happens when people start sharing. More often than not one of them will say in the debrief “I had no idea I had such fascinating colleagues in the office!“. Everyone has something fascinating about them. We just have to offer honest curiosity to bring it out and let them share. And maybe we find some common connection points on the way!

Mantra 5: “We are MEANT to connect.”

They say if you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far go together. People are meant to connect. We are not islands. Value always comes from collaboration. We are better together.

If you walk up to somebody with a big smile and say “Hey, I don’t believe we’ve met, my name is Claudia” you are basically communicating “Hey, we are meant to meet. I am an interesting person, you are an interesting person, let’s see how we can add value to each other“. Mindset is everything when you connect with others!

Abundance over scarcity, giving over taking, listening over speaking and you will radiate all the right vibes for people to like you instantly.

Apply these 5 mantras rigorously, and you will see the bad smell of networking completely disappearing!

Seek to add value and seek to make connections and you will set yourself up for a network beyond anything you’ve ever thought imaginable!

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Negotiating for your Career – How to share your #IamRemarkable

My top 10 tips of how to shout your success over the roofs (without blowing the shingles off :D)

Last week, I went to my first #IAmRemarkable event. What a great initiative, started by a lady at Google in 2016 to empower people to celebrate their achievements and improve their self-promotion skills.

I went because as a Negotiation Trainer, one part of my work with large firms are sessions we call ‘Negotiating for your career’ ‘Beyond the billable hour’, ‘Make some noise’ or similar. In these sessions we talk about the fact that your amazing work does not speak for itself and billable hours are not enough to make it to the next level. “

At the #IamRemarkable workshop I participated in this time myself, it was all about becoming aware of what makes you, well, remarkable. You sit down in a group with a blank piece of paper and start writing “I am remarkable because…” Then you read it out loud.

For many people, this is eye-opening because we don’t usually think along these lines, we are afraid to come across as braggy, we are afraid of criticism, we feel it is not worth speaking about, or we often don’t even realize that “this small thing” is actually quite a big achievement.

Accomplishments do not speak for themselves!

As everyone went to write down their achievements and what makes them remarkable, my brain was already racing to think about the next logical step. How do you communicate all of it in a business context, bringing forward your best self in an authentic, enthusiastic and comfortable way?

Because in most business contexts you will not read out your “I am Remarkable” worksheet to your benevolent audience who rewards you with applause for your bravery.

Where are the right words when you need them?

In my experience, an equally big part of the challenge, beyond knowing what makes you stand out, is knowing just how to put it, i.e. the framing, language, context, situation and finesse of communicating your awesomeness.

Language is powerful and I often feel if only we had a better idea of how to communicate our value and accomplishments it would be much easier for people to shine an adequate light on their contributions and achievements to help them move ahead in their careers.

I would lie if I said that I find this easy myself. Like most of us, I too have been conditioned into wanting to appear modest. And the (gender) backlashes of coming across as too strong are real, so it is a very fine line to walk. But over the past 10 years, I have learned quite a few “tricks” of what works.

Here are my top 10 tips on what to share (and how)

1. Share achievements with real emotion

We all see it on LinkedIn every day: “I am elated about so and so award ..”, “Excited to share that..”, “Honored and humbled to have been selected for..”. Your friends might click “like”, but let’s be honest: Everyone is bored with these announcements or borderline annoyed. And most of us feel uncomfortable posting them but feel like we have to.

A better way: Work hard to express how it actually made you feel, or what it took to get there. Tell a story or share an obstacle that you had to overcome. Bring out as much authentic emotion as you can and people will be more likely to see this as an interesting post and you as a unique human being (see an example here about how I shared my “Top 10 L&D Providers APAC” award).

2. Celebrate Milestones

10 years, 15k followers, bar exam – all a huge deal in your life! People like celebrating with you if you share authentically. But again, authenticity is key. “It’s not bragging if it’s true” is one thing I learned at #IamRemarkable. Here is my best attempt at being my most authentic self when celebrating 15k followers in this post.

It may not behove in your position, role or industry to talk about your pet unicorn, your love for Schnitzel and how you kill off your houseplant (or you don’t care, like me). But I challenge you to push yourself to wherever your outer comfort and appropriateness level (and 10% beyond) in what makes you uniquely you when it’s time to celebrate. It gives people something to connect with you on a personal level and all the more reason to cheer you on.

3. Share knowledge

Your learnings are valuable to others and sharing it positions you as an expert without you having to shout “Look at me, I am an Expert”. This recent huge deal that you did, what did you learn from it about how to manage complex deal structures or a multitude of stakeholders? That ICO that you lead, what surprised you or what should others be aware of? That dispute that you settled, what did you learn that made your negotiations more successful?

Reflect on your work and share your learnings! And when you feel like “What can I even add, I am still junior/inexperienced compared to others” remember that there will always be someone more experienced than you, but there is also always someone less experienced than you and as long as you are even one step ahead of them, they can learn from you. And that is enough!

Look no further than this very blog post that you are reading here to see what I mean. I am no marketing expert. But I write down for you what I have taken from this workshop and the experience I have collated in my 10+ years of having to promote myself as an entrepreneur and working with professionals who have to do the same.

4. Share your take on something

A new law, judgement or industry development. Once you have become comfortable with posting things, share what your take is on those and what you think it will mean for your clients or what they need to be aware of. Just sharing an article or some news without your personal views has little value. Sharing with meaning for them will position you as an expert and give you 10x the effects of that post.

5. Tell stories

Our brains love stories. Tell a story of how your journey is going, where you have come from, what your challenges were, and what you are proud of. This could be about yourself, your team, a new initiative you have started, a non-for-profit you support, etc. You don’t do this for yourself. Stories inspire others! Even a success moment can be an unexpected story (I just saw this creative one here for being appointed to King’s Counsel).

6. Share a passion

Involved in D&I, Legal Tech, ADR? Passionate about negotiation skills, process management or AI? Find a passion and talk about it. Passion ignites passion and you will find your tribe of people. Look for up-and-coming topics in your field and focus on niche areas (especially if you find it hard to post passionate stuff about M&A, Litigation or whatever your core area of expertise).

7. Include clever language and facts about your experience

Get creative at weaving your experience and achievements into normal conversations, posts, your LinkedIn bio etc. I find a “matter of fact” language or giving context to a situation easiest: E.g. “As a lawyer who works with clients on 5 continents.. my view is..”, “Based on my background as..” “Based on my experience with more than 20 of these cases ..”

8. Use numbers

Like images, numbers speak volumes. Rather than “10 years of deal-making experience” (this is already good) you could go one step further and count the number of deals you have done. “Done 150 M&A deals“, Helped 300 companies go public”, “Enabled the largest ICO in the history of our country with 200 Mio in Investment”, “Helped negotiate deals of $50 million plus total value”, “Helped restructure more than a dozen Fortune 500 companies”, “Received the Legal Innovators Award 3 times in 5 years”.

Go dig for the metrics so people get a chance to understand better what you do and what you are really good at. It took me 2 days to collect and calculate how many participants have ever been in my in-person and online trainings across various countries and online platforms.

But here is my new headline:

“I help Tier 1 lawyers negotiate, communicate and network for their best results. Consultant, Trainer, Speaker since 2014. Trained 10k+ professionals live in 30 countries and 15k+ online in 126 countries.”

And don’t you think it was totally worth it to help people understand better what I do and why I’ve become so experienced and specialized in it? (Please say “yes“, those 2 days will never come back :D:D)

9. Use social proof (collect accolades)

Nothing persuades like other people’s recommendations. In fact, what do most of us do when we look for a doctor, an accountant, or in our case, a lawyer? Ask family, colleagues, friends.

15 Awards, a PhD and 5 papers may not be as persuasive as one strong personal recommendation.

“Most dedicated lawyer I’ve ever hired!!“

Now that has a ring to it 🙂

So when clients are raving about your work, ask them if they would be okay to put it into your LinkedIn (there is a recommendation section) or write it down in an email (or you can summarize what they said and send it back to them, thanking them for the compliment). Use these gems in your website bio, LinkedIn “about section”, annual review, promotion discussion, brochure, etc.

10. Talk about the benefit of your greatness to THEM

Remember: No one cares about what you can do. Everyone cares about what you can do for them. Frame your messaging accordingly!

“My 15 years of expertise in … allow me to immediately grasp my client’s challenges when it comes to..”, “My experience with over 100 high steak real estate negotiations allows me to advise clients on the best strategy that does not only protect them from the risks of .. but also give them leverage in…”

Time to get to work!

One immediate way for you to start putting these into practice is to look through your LinkedIn profile.

– What is your “Subtitle”. Are you “*Lawyer* at Firm”( yaaawn!) or a “Problem-Solving Advocate for Complex Disputes” (ohoo!)

– What does your “About” section say (Do you even have one?)? Is it written in a personable, first-person language that captures who you are and what you do? Does it tell the reader how you can support them and how you are different from others?

– Scroll further: What is in the section that talks about your current job? Have you maximized that space to share what your value add is based on your experience and achievements?

– Scrolling on: What about Licenses, Publications, Awards, Recommendations, and Projects (just saw a great example here of how to mention projects as a lawyer). If you don’t have these sections in your LinkedIn go to “add profile section” at the top of your profile. All these sections are there for you to fill with clever language and subtle brags.

Once you are done with LinkedIn: What about the bio on your company website? Short bios you use for conferences or publications?

Two Last Tips

Set aside an hour in your calendar right now to go and rework these to help you start thinking about how to better express your achievements, capabilities and what they can do for your career, client or promotion. We all know if it’s not in your calendar it’s not happening.
Then copy this post and come back to the list later and see what posts and blogs you could write as you start your #IamRemarkable journey and Negotiate for your career by becoming more conscious of how you communicate your achievements.

If you need, print out your new mantra or stick it to your screen with a post it:

“Accomplishments do not speak for themselves.”

To your success! And I hope you share this post with everyone around you who also struggles to make their achievements noticed!

Dr. Claudia

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Unleashing your Inner Negotiator: Your 8-Week Workout Plan

In the last post Negotiation Nugget, we debunked the myth that negotiation skills are an inborn skill, and I gave you 7 tips to start training your inner negotiator.

Now, it’s time to take your negotiation game seriously and join our 8-week workout plan* to build your negotiation muscle and turn you into a negotiation powerhouse.

WEEK 1+2 – Warm-up Program: Boosting Comfort Levels

Objective: Increase comfort levels, view everything as negotiable

In this warm-up phase, treat negotiations like a daily workout. Start with small, inconsequential matters:

– Leave work early for an event.

– Personal coffee machine/printer/whiteboard in the office.

– Discounts at the supermarket/clothing store.

– New case/partner/team at work.

– Conference/training attendance.

– Neighbor cat-sitting during your vacation.

– Coffee discount (or free cake).

Remember, the goal is to make negotiation a part of your daily routine, gradually building your comfort and confidence.

Try to ask for at least one extra thing a day!

WEEK 3+4 – Ask for More: Set High Goals, Conquer Fear

Objective: Set ambitious goals, overcome fear of asking too much

Now it’s time to push your boundaries and ask for more than you think is acceptable:

– Instead of a 10% discount, ask for 20%.

– Request 4 weeks of vacation instead of the usual 2.

– Negotiate for both a new phone and Airpods at work.

– Upgrade from one screen to two.

– Extend remote work in Bali to 2 months.

Challenge yourself to ask for double what you expect, breaking through your comfort zone.

WEEK 5+6 – Go for “No”: Embrace Rejection, Fuel Creativity

Objective: Aim high, expect rejection, overcome fear of being turned down

Creativity is the key in this phase. Ask for things you believe are impossible and embrace rejection as a part of the negotiation process:

– 1+1 free at the coffee shop.

– Free inspection for the second car.

– 50% off dental cleaning for you and your partner.

– Discounts on your insurance or mobile subscription.

– Free upgrade on a flight or access to the business class lounge.

Remember, a rejection is just a stepping stone to a successful negotiation. Get comfortable with the word “No.”

And you would surprised, how often I have gotten something whenever I ask in a situation I expected a sure no.

WEEK 7+8 – All In / Final Sprint: Get What Matters

Objective: Pursue what’s important, negotiate for life improvements

In the final stretch, focus on negotiations that truly matter to you:

– Work-break e.g. from 6-8 PM.

– Guaranteed night blocked for yourself every week.

– Secondment to a desired location.

– Specialized training in a specific area.

– Childcare flexibility.

– Salary increase.

– 50% contribution to evening meals from your partner.

Whatever it is that will make your life easier, now is the time to go all in and secure what will make a significant impact on your life. You’ve built your negotiation muscle—time to flex it!

Let’s do this!

Are you ready to take your negotiation skills to the next level over the next 8 weeks?

Comment “I am in” below to join our workout group so we can keep each other accountable. Research shows that we are 10 times more committed to following through with something if we do it with other people and commit to it publicly. I will personally check in with you every 2 weeks to see how it is going and if you need any help!

To your negotiation success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Let’s get Ripped: Building Your Negotiation Muscle!

I don’t go to the gym in January. Too crowded with people who are trying to stick to their New Year’s Resolutions.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel like working out, either. It’s not too late to build another muscle for 2024!

Introducing: The Negotiation Muscle

There is a major myth out there about Negotiation skills. Many people think that Negotiation is an innate skill. That people are born with it, and you either have it or you do not.

People who believe this, let me look you deep into your pretty eyes and tell you firmly but lovingly, once and for all: THAT’S NONSENSE!

Some people might have more talent to become excellent negotiators. But negotiation as a whole is a skill that must be learned.

Learning requires practice

Saying “I am just not good at negotiations” is like saying “I am just not strong” without having set foot into a gym. Developing Negotiation skills begins with overcoming your insecurities, fears, and other inhibitions and just making the first ask. And then another one. And then another one.

Our discomfort in making a small request in low-stakes situations keeps us from growing comfort in making a move in high-stakes negotiations.

If fear and discomfort are keeping you from negotiating for more of what you want and deserve, starting to negotiate in your daily life is your first important step.

And for my ladies reading this, as per Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever’s research (Women Don’t Ask – go read that, it’s brilliant!), we only negotiate about 25% as much as men do! If you don’t ask, you won’t get. So if you identify, please read this extra carefully.

Okay, ready to get ripped?

Here are 7 small hacks that help you get really good at it.

Before we start: WHAT all is negotiable?

Some things are more obvious than others, and I hope you already always negotiate these. Things like your salary (yes, annually!), buying a car, your rent, buying an apartment.

But much beyond that, to rock these big negotiations, you need to train your negotiation muscle on the small daily negotiations.

Things you may not consider a negotiation (yet): Who goes out to buy the groceries, your phone bill, newspaper subscription, gym membership, the timeline for returning a draft, your seat on an airplane, check-out time, hotel room category, the clothes in a store, and and and. Which brings us to hack number 1:

#1: Consider everything negotiable

For a lot of reasons, we often don’t think something is negotiable. We have never seen someone negotiate it, we have been conditioned by society that something is not negotiable, or we simply believe that just because there is a written price tag that means that this thing is not negotiable. But those are just stories we tell ourselves. Until you ask, you NEVER know if it might be negotiable. I have been surprised by the most unexpected places, what all you can negotiate!

When in doubt, I always remember that there was once a study that said that only 25% of Americans ask for a discount, but about 80% or so who do will actually get SOMETHING. Now, if that isn’t motivating, I don’t know?!

#2: Start a habit of asking

Call up any subscription and say “I am looking through my subscriptions to see how I can cut down on cost. I am a loyal customer, so I wanted to see if you can make me a better deal.” You never know where you can get a cheaper deal, or extra service/bandwidth/discount.

Or, looking to buy this new luxury duvet? Email 2-3 sellers and tell them that you would love to get one for Xmas/a birthday whatever the reasons but that you are still hesitant about the price and if they could e.g. give a 15% discount. I have even done that with Amazon 3d party sellers, and it works!

#3: Let them compete / Improve your BATNA

BATNA – your alternative, is the strongest tool in your negotiator toolbox. So always get a few different offers and let them negotiate against each other. I recently had a safety grill installed for my kids on our balcony. Having 3 providers quote for the same thing got me 50% off the most expensive quotation. You don’t even have to negotiate much, you just keep pointing out that another provider has offered a better price, but you would love to work with them and ask if they could match.

#4: Humour

Negotiation is not a fight, it’s a dance! Doing it with appreciation, charm, and humour works best. People like to give things to people they like.

E.g. hubby and I are in his shoe store. After a while, I walk up to the salesperson saying “My husband is eying the 3rd pair already, we need to start talking about a bulk discount or I will have to drag him out of here.“

Quick wit also works well. Cashier: “Do you need a corporate invoice”? “No, but we would take a corporate discount if you have?” – 20% off in the home improvement store because of some random coupon she finds in her drawer. How much easier can you have €600 thrown at you for doing close to nothing?

Of course, this doesn’t always work. But the point is to practice. And not just “the ask”, but also dealing with the rejection. Or the alternative people throw at you. Surprising moments such as “Can you do something else (points at the price tag)? “No, but I can throw in a hug” (😲) teaches you valid lessons in handling responses with poise and expect and reply to the unexpected.

#5: Think beyond the money

Great negotiators never forget the non-momentary stuff. It’s not always money. Often, there are non-monetary options that the other side can give you much more easily, and that are valuable for you. E.g. more days off from work, waiving the climbing gym initiation fee, getting 12 months for 10, getting a free personal training session, a free room upgrade, a spa voucher, an airport pickup, a voucher for your next visit, etc.

Even if you end up getting no discount, you might walk out with something.

#6: Look out for their interests (and trade for yours)

Good deals are always a two-way street. If you can find things that are beneficial to them, they are more likely to i) agree and ii) give you a good deal. When we negotiated our rental contract in Singapore (at the worst time..) we offered a variety of things to get a better price that we thought could be of interest to the landlord. Things like painting the place, an earlier move-in date, a longer contract term, an up-front payment, etc. 10% off the asking price at a time when people snatched up apartments!

#7: Show that you have done your research

Information is power. Knowing what other people are making, how much other stores are charging, what margins there are, what sales targets they have etc allows you to say “Can you match ..“, “What rate can you give us if we book directly with you and you don’t have to shell out 15% to booking.com?”

Summing Up:

Consider everything negotiable.
Get into a habit of asking.
Let providers compete/improve your BATNA.
Use humor and connect with people.
Think beyond money.
Look out for their interests.
Show that you have done your research.

Ready to get to work?

Stay tuned for the next Negotiation Nugget. I will share with you an 8-week workout plan for your negotiation muscle that you can follow to become more comfortable with high-stakes negotiation by increasing your comfort in the daily ones.

To your negotiation success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

7 Steps for Leading any Client Meeting like a Pro – Even with no Preparation or Experience

A simple framework and universal tools you can use to make you look instantly more professional.

This Negotiation Nugget shares the exact 7-step framework we teach at The Negotiation Academy LLC and how the included building blocks help you radiate confidence and professionalism in any client meeting.

Client Interview and Client Counseling Framework and Steps

Let’s look at how using the framework and tools of these 7 steps can turn you into a master meeting host who exudes confidence, experience, and expertise:

1. Small Talk

The first few minutes set the tone of your work together. Make sure you show an interest in the person, engage in some small talk to create a personal connection, and make them feel comfortable and special. The better you connect, the easier your conversation will be and the more they trust and respect you. Arriving early and having prepared topics to talk about go a long way!

2. Agenda

This is your first step in controlling the conversation and making the client feel safe by radiating experience and gravitas. “Agenda” is a big word. In most conversations, you just need a few sentences about how the meeting is going to go. This can be very generic and without preparation. Even without an idea what the client will want to talk about you can already shine. Adapt a version of this:

(finishing small talk..) Okay so here is what I suggest we do to make the most of our time: Why don’t you first tell me what brings you here today/why don’t you update me on what new developments there have been since we last met/why don’t you fill me in on your perspective of what is happening to give me a fuller picture than what I have from having read the written documents. While you do, I will be taking some notes to make sure I don’t miss anything and after you are done I will surely have some questions. Then we can discuss some options and see how I could help you. Lastly, we will discuss the next steps, what it would look like if we work together, and what the fee arrangement looks like in our firm. Does that work for you?”

These are just sample elements, but do you see what this does when you start with something like this? It makes you sound amazing! Prepared, knowledgeable, experienced, and in the driver’s seat! First impressions matter, and this little opener together with your small talk will put the conversation on a promising track.

3. Client Narrative

Next, it is time to zip it and hand it over to your client. “Okay, why don’t you get us started?”. Your main job here is to NOT interrupt (I mean it, listen as if your life depended on it)!

We are all guilty of interrupting much more than we care to admit. An important question comes to mind, a reference to some other success that offers itself, a comparison, or our own experience. Research shows that this is a big no-go with severe adverse effects on your learning about the case and the relationship with the client.

Studies in a patient-doctor context show that interruptions of all kinds (questions or statements or completing their sentences) result in significantly less accurate diagnoses and less successful treatment. In 94% of interruptions, the physician ended up taking over the conversation, never returning to what the patient wanted to say at that time (now you know how I chose my doctors..).

4. Summary

This is the key moment to show how well you listen and understand your client: You summarize what they said. E.g. “Let me make sure I have got everything. So you are saying …” (summarize it all). Then you end with “Am I missing anything?“

Summarizing is a pro communicator power tool with 360° benefits for you and the client:

You are forced to listen better and can confirm that you have truly understood.
The client feels truly heard and appreciated (“Got it” does not do that job! Look at your client’s eyes lightening up when you actually summarize what they said!)
You sort your client’s thoughts and structure them for yourself and them.

This summary can already be the structure for the next steps in your conversation. E.g. “ .. I hear that we will need to talk about employment issues, incorporation, and data privacy. Shall we start with data privacy?”

5. Questions and Details / Counseling

Only now comes the actual legal talk. Starting with e.g. that Data Privacy topic, now is the time to ask your follow-up and detail questions and walk the client through their options like you always do.

6. Summary of Goals, Interests and Priorities

Towards the end, there needs to be another round of summaries that focus specifically on client goals. You know, that “client interest focus” that every firm has on their website, this is where you walk the talk! Find out what is truly driving the person on the table.

What are their most important goals and priorities?
What does this situation mean to them?
How does it impact their business?

As negotiators, we know that people will always bring us positions, but what they really care about are interests. This summary makes sure you dig for those before suggesting any action.

7. Next Steps & Fees

To wrap it up, have a small summary of what will happen next. Who is sending what to whom by when.

Fees: If the situation requires, plan to take a moment to explain fees. Most importantly: Own the topic! Don’t wait until the client needs to put themselves into an uncomfortable position to ask “how about fees?”. Because a) you don’t want the client to have to do that, and b) YOU don’t want to be caught on the back foot! Discussing fees is uncomfortable for 99% of people.. (or at least that is my impression in our trainings :D). The moment the client asks for fees, even the smoothest client interviews take a massive turn for the awkward with lawyers suddenly going “aaaah, well, usually, we, aah, do hourly rates, but we can also, aehm, see if we can maybe ahm do a package.. “

How comfortable would you be in hiring an attorney to represent your financial interest if they cannot represent their own? You and I know this might be independent, but the last impression and aura of confidence are certainly taking a hit.

So instead, prepare to mention fees yourself. This again shows that you are a confident and experienced professional (and you can keep it short and practice what you want to say beforehand 🙂

Summing up, print the 7 steps and focus on these four key takeaways for any client meeting:

Be proactive in using small talk.
Start with a small “agenda” to look extra routined.
Keep summarizing to show your competence and make the client feel heard.
Ensure that you drill down to what really matters to your client.

Try it out and let me know how it goes!

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Kids and Other “Irrational Negotiators” – A Holiday Special

They say people engage in an average of 2–10 negotiations per day. This must exclude parenting and holiday family gatherings. For those, we probably have to add a “0” or two.

Once you have little negotiators in your house, everything from putting on pants to eating lunch to leaving the house becomes a negotiation (read to the end for my favorite comedian clip on that).

My kids are now 3 and 1. They both started negotiating when they were around 9 months old (“I am NOT eating my breakfast, I want yours—points and shouts“).

As I am heading into a 3-week “break from work” (spoiler alert, it isn’t; see my Out-of-Office below), I thought I’d summarize what I have learned so far about how to negotiate with children and other “reasonable” family members.

This year’s word-for-word Out-of-Office reply for Negotiation Academy.

I must note that there won’t be any negotiation classes dedicated to parenting at the Negotiation Academy anytime soon. In fact, if you see a good one, sign me up!

But here is what I have learned so far about what a seasoned negotiator can use as a novice parent.

Let’s assume

Imagine you had a big fight with your mum or dad. Now you are home, telling your spouse all about it. They try various ways to help. How would you feel about each of these attempts:

Defend the other side: “I can understand their reaction.. I mean, you have to consider that they are old now and from a different time..“
Pity: “Oh no, you poor thing. These parents always..“
Question: “Why did you say that to her if you know she is sensitive about it?“
Advice: “Maybe you should call and apologize.“
Diminishing: “Oh, don’t be so upset. You are overreacting. It’s not that bad.“
Own experience: “Oh yes, I also had a bad fight with my mum the other day. She told me that…“

Do you recognize these in your environment?

Do any of these make you feel better?

I am going to assume your answer is “No”.

What would make you feel better?

How about an empathetic response: “Oh gosh, that does sound like a horrible fight. And it must have come at the worst time when you were already exhausted from the long weekend with the kids and guests.“

Better?

Most of us grow up having our feelings denied.

It’s the small things we were told.

“It’s not a big deal!”
“You are a big boy now.”
“You are just tired.”
“Don’t make such a big drama out of it.”
“You are acting like a baby.”
“Look how brave your little sister is.”

Sound familiar?

Yes for me.

Does it work to help calm down kids (or anyone for that matter)?

No, ma’am.

Enter a negotiator strategy for meltdowns, tantrums, and everything in between:

Acknowledge, don’t diminish

Here is one bit of advice we give for dealing with difficult negotiation counterparts. But brace yourself. It’s a tough one.

No one gets up in the morning thinking, “Today I will be completely irrational.” Everybody ALWAYS makes sense to themselves.

Yes. Always.

“But surely not this XXX person.”

Yes. Everyone!

I know. I told you this was hard to believe.

But it is true. People always make sense for themselves. So do kids. Just that they are little aliens who don’t yet know how things work around here on this planet.

Here is where our power comes in. No matter if we are with irrational seeming adults or kids. Our ONLY power is to try and see how what they are doing makes sense for them.

Because here is the problem: The moment you write them off as “irrational,” you have given away all power to change the situation.

So when you find yourself getting triggered into thinking “This person is totally irrational,” ask yourself this: “How does what this person is doing/thinking make sense to them? What information am I missing so that I don’t feel like it is making sense?”

Here is the 4 part formula I have put together for myself when it comes to my toddlers.

Enter the LSAT model

I use the LSAT model (such as a lawyer, I know).

It stands for Listen, Sympathize, Acknowledge, and Talk Alternatives.

In the past 24 hours, my kids threw a fit because ..

they wanted that orange juice right now;
they wanted to keep banging on the sofa table;
they didn’t want to go to school;
they wanted to be carried all the way home (at 20kgs..).

Strong-willed communicators as they are, they often land on the floor, making sure those wishes are heard by everyone in a one-mile radius.

Enter LSAT:

Listen (don’t interrupt, diminish, or offer explanations, etc, see above)
Sympathize: Verbalize to them why they are upset. It’s counterintuitive, but try! You might add your own feelings about it. “Oh, you really want that orange juice now?” “I also really like Orange Juice.“
Acknowledge: Find a word to describe the feeling. “That must be frustrating.” “You look like you are really angry.”
Talk Alternatives: Give them two other options of what to do now. “Would you like to walk to school or sit in the pram?“

Put together, this sounds something like this (imagine a 3-year-old who has thrown themselves on the floor and shouts off the top of their lungs)

“Oh, you really want that Orange Juice now, don’t you? Orange Juice is so yummy. Do you really like Orange Juice, ha? I also really like Orange Juice. Shall we have one after lunch? Would you like the one with pulp or the one without?”

“You are upset that mummy told you not to bang on the table. You really want to bang on the table, hm? The sound is fun. It’s frustrating when we have to stop doing something that is fun. I see you like to bang something and make a noise. Would you like to play with your piano in your room, or take the tennis racket and go down and hit some balls?

“You are upset that Papa didn’t carry you home. I know, it’s so nice being carried. I would love to be carried too. All day would be best!! 🙂 Isn’t it comfortable to hang over someone’s shoulder? (looks up and nods) Would you like me to pick you up and hang over my shoulder on the sofa a little, or would you like to get a big snuggle from Papa?”

“You don’t want to go to school today ha? We are having so much fun playing cars at home. I also want to keep playing. It’s frustrating when we have to stop doing something we enjoy. We should play again when you get back. For now, do you want to have Bananas or Dragon fruit for your lunch box at school today?“

I am still a novice at this parenting game but the difference I’ve seen between saying these things and “No, you can’t have an orange juice now we are having lunch first”, “We can’t carry you, you are too heavy”, “Don’t bang on the table it’s too loud” and “But you have to go to school” is tremendous!

It seems to me, that the default we have been shown, taught, and programmed to do – talk down the feeling, explain, rationalize, tell kids what to do – just leads to kids starting out being frustrated about the situation and end up being frustrated with parents.

Like in negotiations, when feelings are denied, parties become hostile.

Age doesn’t matter.

The language will change. The underlying concepts don’t.

If you have kids (big or small :D), I am curious for you to try out LSAT!

Please make sure to let me know how it went and what other things you have discovered that work. I am all ears!

Happy Negotiation Bootcamp, aka Holidays, everyone!

See you on the other side.

Claudia

PS: As promised, here is my favorite comedy piece on negotiating with kids by Michael McIntyre.

PPS: And a book recommendation: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

How your love or hate for negotiations influences your outcome. And what to do about it.

One question I ask at the beginning of almost every single one of my workshops is: “Do you enjoy negotiating?”

Having asked this question to over 5,000 people on five continents, across many professions and cultures, I am finally no longer surprised by the typical answers I get.

On average, only about 10–20% of people raise their hands (or click “yes” in our anonymous online poll). Yes, even professionals who negotiate every day! Yes, even in cultures where bargaining is life! I know.. I was shocked at first too!

Apart from curiosity, there is a deeper reason I ask this question.

With negotiations, it is much like with public speaking. If you hate public speaking, if it makes you nervous, if you dread being on that stage, you will likely not radiate confidence and give a very persuasive presentation. More likely, your inner discomfort will make you talk as fast as possible and do everything to get off that stage as quickly as you can.

The same goes for negotiations. If you are not comfortable with the process of negotiating (or at least comfortable with the fact that you are uncomfortable), your default reaction will be to get you out of this situation as quickly as possible. You are therefore much more likely to take a less optimal deal just to escape the situation.

Now think about this: If, on the other side of that negotiation, you happen to have someone who enjoys negotiating, guess what their default reaction to the situation will be. They will make themselves comfortable in their chair! They love it and are ready to do this all day long.

Guess who is getting the better deal?

The second person!

Without even considering negotiation position, skill, or strategy, the latter person already has an advantage by the sheer fact that they are comfortable in the situation.

And more: They will learn more from the situation. Because experience only translates into expertise if we analyze and consciously work on our skills.

I learned French for 8 years at school. And to this day, I can barely order a croissant. Your guess, how much I enjoyed the process of it 😀

What can you do if you want to become more comfortable negotiating?

Negotiation is like a muscle. It only grows with conscious training. Saying I am a bad negotiator without having worked on my negotiation skills is like saying I cannot lift weights without ever having stepped foot in a gym.

You need two things:

1. Learn a proper framework

Just starting to lift weights can be dangerous. You can hurt yourself, learn the wrong routines, and not see the best results. Anyone serious about lifting would first get a trainer. Negotiations are similar. You don’t need very much, but you do need to understand the fundamentals. Collaborative vs. competitive negotiation, how to create value, how to bargain, and how to ask good questions. See if your company offers a course or take one online (there is everything from free on Coursera to mid-range on Udemy to high-end by Harvard and consorts; we have a few specially designed for lawyers hereas well).

2. Put the skills and frameworks to conscious use

Negotiation is a muscle. It grows only with practice. The bad news is that this takes time. The good news is that you can practice anywhere.

Moving house, signing a new phone contract, insurance products, banking, buying clothes, picking a caterer, hiring a swim coach, painting the house, fixing the car, deadlines with your colleagues, task distribution with your boss, salary, vacation days, etc. I bet your day has at least five negotiation opportunities, probably ten times that!

Why do we not utilize these opportunities more? A lot of times we

a) don’t notice that we are in a negotiation or

b) can’t be bothered to negotiate.

“Claudia, I don’t want to bargain about every single small thing.” “I can’t be bothered.” “I feel silly.“

You don’t have to. But this is how you will learn to get comfortable. Because if you are not comfortable asking for the thing you want or the discount you would like in your daily low-stake interaction with the lady at the market, how do you expect to be comfortable negotiating high-stakes matters with the lady who runs your company? 😉

When I was young, I used to hate to bargain or ask for things for myself. I thought it was cheap, inappropriate or a waste of time. Gender expectations further exacerbate the notion of “don’t ask anything for yourself“.

But I love to lift weights. So the moment I understood how similar the success journeys of these two skills are and that in each case it is a learned skill that only grows with practice, I started taking daily situations as serious negotiation practice. The rest is history.

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

How positional communication almost ruined my Christmas holiday

Negotiation Nuggets: Realizing that you are always in a negotiation; How to look beyond positions; How to train yourself to find interests.

“I’m sorry, the check-in is now closed.”

Over a decade ago, I called New York City home. I had a flight from NY to Uruguay booked to spend the Christmas holidays with my friend and her family.

The worst of all things happens. On December 22nd, the morning of my flight, my phone mysteriously died during the night, and my 4 AM alarm did not ring.

I wake up at 6:45. Fifteen minutes before boarding! Without wasting a second, I call a cab, grab my suitcase, and rush off to the airport. I arrive 40 minutes later, where luckily boarding has only begun 20 minutes ago.

I sprint to the check-in counter with my huge suitcase. Closed.

An airline employee is close by so I rush over and say, “I’m terribly sorry; I’m running late. I have to catch that flight!” She responds, “I’m sorry, but the check-in is closed.” So, I plead, “Isn’t there anything we can do?” “I’m afraid I can’t assist with check-in anymore; the system is closed,” she replies.

My expression freezes. I mutter a simple “Thank you” and walk away. For a moment, I stand in the terminal filled with people heading to their Christmas destinations, contemplating how all other flights are likely fully booked or exorbitantly priced on December 22nd. I can already see myself spending Christmas alone in cold and snowy New York.

Then, my inner negotiator springs into action.

I sprint back to the counter and say, “Look, the plane is still here. I can make it to the gate in time. What can we do? I need to be on that flight. I don’t care if you can’t check in my suitcase, we can put it on the next plane or in the mail or whatever, I don’t care. I just need to be on that flight!“

“Have you checked in online?” she asks.

“Yes, I have.“

“But you have a suitcase, right?“

“Yes, I do. But I don’t care! Send it on the next flight, send it by mail, whatever. I need to be on that flight.”

She starts talking into her walkie-talkie. Five minutes later, she and I are running through security with my bulky suitcase. Just before the plane’s doors close, we arrive at the gate where they take my suitcase and simply check it in there.

This was before I started Negotiation Academy. But these two key negotiationlessons will always stay with me.

Positional communication can ruin your chances of getting what you want. Her position was, “The check-in is closed”. That seemed perfectly reasonable to me. No one was there. I was late. And boarding had started. So my brain said, “Okay, that means I can no longer check in, I am screwed.” What I didn’t realise was that she thought I needed to check myself in when really it was just my suitcase (and turns out even that can be done at the gate).
Life is a negotiation. This lady had full power to run through security with me to get me on that plane with my suitcase. I was in a negotiation. But I didn’t notice that at first. To get her to go out of her way, ask security for special permission, and drop everything and run with me, I needed to do some persuasion. “Okay, thank you” after the first “check-in is closed” wasn’t gonna do that.

Become an Investigator of Interests

Our default style of thinking and communication is positional. Our brain needs to be efficient, so there is no conscious thought process that gets us from our interests to our positions. And neither does your counterpart. The positions just pop right up and we share them.

What this example shows is that the positional speaking and thinking that we are used to do often gets us nowhere when we try to negotiate.

To boost our chances of getting what we want we have to learn to actively go beyond positions. In this case, it would have meant to ask her (even if it sounds silly at first) “WHY is it a problem that the check-in is closed?” – “Because we cannot check you in any more “ “Oh, I am checked in, online“, “and because we cannot check the suitcase in” “Oh, so it’s about the suitcase?” “can we put it on the next flight, use UPS or (as it turned out) do that at the gate?”.

Realizing what was behind her position made the difference between staying snowed in and spending Christmas alone OR flying off to Uruguay for sun and holidays that winter. Or it probably saved me some $$$ for new tickets.

Whenever you feel like you are getting nowhere in your negotiation, ask yourself: Am I really talking about interests? And do I really know theirs?

Don’t get held back by your and their positional thinking and communication. Go beyond!

Happy negotiating!

To your success!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Give yourself negotiation power with an ambitious Goal & ZOPA – Part 2/3

Today you will learn: How to set a goal price in a negotiation – How researching and pushing the other side’s limit gets you the best deal – How analyzing the ZOPA (Zone of Possible Agreement) helps you avoid losing millions over your career

In this three-part series, we focus on how you secure the biggest piece of the pie and share the three key numbers you need to prepare for any monetary negotiation.

In Part 1 you saw how you need to set your Limit Price with the help of your BATNA (see here if you missed it).

This week, let’s talk about the 2nd Number: the Goal Price

Your second number to prepare in distributive negotiation is your goal. This number should be higher than the limit (if you are the seller/claimant) or lower than your limit (if you are the buyer/defendant).

How do you set a goal?

Some basics: It should be optimistic, yet realistic, specific and well-researched but as high/low as you can possibly dream to get. Remember, in life and in negotiations, higher goals achieve objectively higher outcomes.

There are 2 ways to set your goal:

A. Use your best objective criteria to calculate what might be the best possible deal.

B. Or even better: Push to THEIR limit price. Even the best objective criteria vanish in comparison to a good “guesstimate” of what THEIR limit (i.e. alternative) is. Because it can help you grab the biggest part of the “ZOPA”

ZOPA – What is that?

ZOPA is the Zone of Possible Agreement. It is the overlap between the limit prices of both sides. Any rational deal MUST happen in this zone. Whoever manages to push the deal closer to the limit of the other side has taken the bigger piece of the pie.

Here is a graphic of the ZOPA between the buyer of a house who has set their limit to 580k (let’s say they have an alternative house to buy at that price) and the seller who has set their limit to 500k (let’s say they already have an offer for that).

The ZOPA is therefore between 500k – 580k.

All deals will happen in this zone. Whoever manages to push the deal closer to the limit of the other side has taken the bigger piece of the pie.

What does this mean for our goal-setting?

The best goal price is the one that is as close to their limit as possible.

Will we usually know the (exact) limit (i.e. alternative) of the other side? Unlikely.

But we can do our best to do as much research as possible to find out about it (see example of a salary negotiation below).

Since people don’t spend time doing that research they set suboptimal goals and therefore end up with suboptimal deals.

Watch this video for more details and an example of how to calculate the ZOPA:

BONUS EXAMPLE SALARY NEGOTIATION

Here is a practical example: A university professor came to me to help him prepare for a salary negotiation with the dean for a new position. The job post had stated 70,000 for the job (the minimum salary, as required to be publicised by law). To prepare for the negotiation I asked him to research the average salary for this position. He came back with 80-100k. So then we started thinking: “What do we think is the absolute maximum the dean could give? Where is his limit?”. We decided it would probably be 100k. So this is where he set his negotiation goal, at 100k. He started out asking for 120k and ended up with an offer for 96k.

Without this thought process, he may have set his goal at 90k.. Which is “already 20k more than the post”. He might have started with asking 90k. Which then would usually get him around 80-85k. 10-15k less a year (or more than half a million over his remaining career years.. Even without any other promotions or adjustments.

In short: Don’t use this framework and it can cost you millions over the course of your career.

Keep Negotiating! And have a goal when you do!

Dr. Claudia

Your Negotiation Whisperer

Next Topic: Part 3 – Your opening price. How to anchor in a negotiation to significantly sway the numbers your way.

If you enjoyed this content, feel free to sign up for our free 10-week Email course on the fundamentals of Collaborative and Competitive Negotiation skills by clicking HERE.

Give yourself negotiation power with Limit Price & BATNA – Part 1/3